


Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours...

by mrsyt31



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-08
Updated: 2009-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-30 23:18:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsyt31/pseuds/mrsyt31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Edward sees Bella for the first time, he knows in an instant that she is his soul mate. How long will it take before he finally reveals the truth to her? How will she accept the truth of what he really is and all that he has done?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. The Twilight charachters do not belong to me, and I have made no profit from the publication of this work.
> 
> I originally posted this story at ffnet and Twilighted in 2009. I'm posting it here for back up purposes. Thanks for reading!

   
 **Prologue:**  
   
     I could not believe my eyes. It was her- _my Isabel-_ after all these years. I had found her soul in many incarnations during the last ninety years, but _this girl,_ this clumsy, shy, beautiful human girl, was the first one that actually looked like my Isabel. Right down to her flowing chestnut hair and eyes the color of the richest chocolate.  
    
     I had seen her in the minds of others all day- the new girl, Isabella Swan. Bella, she told them. The police chief’s daughter, come home at last. It wasn't until I looked in her eyes myself that I realized who she really was. Even across the crowded cafeteria I could see my long lost love in those eyes. Did she recognize me as well? Could I dare to hope?  
   
     I knew I must speak to her, get to know _her,_ but I was afraid of frightening her. I could not afford to scare her away. I had done that too many times in the past, missing so many years of being with her, _loving her._ How would she ever believe me? _How could I ever make her understand?_

**Chapter 1:** **It begins again….**  
   
 **Edward's POV**  
   
   
   
  
 _It was the  fall of 1917 when we first met. Before the Spanish Influenza ravaged my city and took my family away from me forever- before I was changed into the monster I would become. Her family had recently moved into the house next door to my own- cliché, I know, that I would fall in love with the girl next door. And fall, I did. It happened quickly for both of us. I walked her to school every day, and showed her all of the wonders the city of Chicago held for me. She told me of her former home, on the coast of Washington, where most of her family still lived. I listened to the sadness in her voice as she would describe how she missed the lush, green forests of home, and I longed to hold her and take all of that sadness away._  
   
   
 _By Christmas, we were courting. I, ever the gentleman, had asked her father's permission first. He had agreed, and Isabel became_ my _Isabel.  She was simply the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, inside and out. Her hair was the color of roasting chestnuts, and her eyes were the richest chocolate you could possibly imagine. Through those eyes, you could see the depth of her soul, and the purity of her heart. She had become my life, my reason for living. Gone were my notions of wanting to join the war effort. Although, when I would turn eighteen I would surely be drafted, if given the choice, I would no longer choose to go. I needed her in my life, couldn't breathe without her in it._  
   
 _By springtime I had asked her parents for her hand, and they had consented. I had a plan in place to surprise Isabel with a proposal on her seventeenth birthday, but as they say, the best laid plans......_  
   
 _*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *     *    *    *    *    *    *_  
   
   
 **Bella POV**  
   
   
   
The dream began much the same way it had every night since I had moved to Forks two weeks ago. I was walking down a city street in the springtime- _early springtime,_ as it was very cold in the dream. It was not a city I recognized, which didn't mean much, as I had never really been anywhere in my seventeen years. But the beautiful boy walking with me in the dream, _him,_ I recognized. For the first time I realized who he was, or maybe my mind finally put a face where there had never been one before. _Edward Cullen._ Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's adopted teenaged son. In my dream he was guiding me down a busy sidewalk, and I remember looking into his beautiful green eyes- a green that reminded me vividly of the wilderness around my new home. The only problem with this was that I _knew_ that Edward Cullen's eyes were not green. I had seen him in my biology class- we were lab partners- and I remember clearly thinking that his eyes were the most unique color of gold I had ever seen.   
   
     As my dream unfolded, I continued to walk with the young man who had Edward's face. But, his face wasn’t _quite_ Edward's. It was softer, somehow, more youthful- innocent, almost. He guided me through the city park, to a bench beside the water fountain. He was rambling nervously about our relationship, and how precious I was to him. I couldn't help but notice the sheen of sweat, beading on his face as he spoke, and the shadows under his beautiful eyes. The shadows (that was something that my dream Edward had in common with my lab partner), those bruise-like shadows under his eyes. His speech was starting to falter, and I felt a pang of anxiety, wondering if there was something seriously wrong with this beautiful boy. Should I call his parents? Should I ask a passerby for help? And then, suddenly, he was falling.......  
   
   
   
*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *      
   
   
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
 _Fate had other ideas for me. Or maybe it was just really bad luck. But in the spring of 1918, two months before I was to turn eighteen, I fell ill with the influenza. My whole family became ill, and before we were able to check into the local hospital, my father had already succumbed to the wretched disease. My mother held out much longer. She tried her best to take care of me, and when she could no longer, she asked our Doctor to do what she could not. That was when I first met Carlisle, the man, who for so many years now, has been a father to me. But back then, he was a physician treating patients who were quarantined with the illness that had become an epidemic in the city of Chicago. I didn't know then what he really was, but I would soon find out._  
   
 _I found out during this time that Isabel had taken ill, as well. I was so sick, at that point, that they wouldn't even let her see me. I overheard the nurse tell someone that I probably wouldn't make it through the day, much less the rest of the week. I prayed to heaven above that there would be a miracle for me, and that Isabel and I could be together again, as we were meant to be. I didn’t realize that I had been begging for my life out loud, but Carlisle had heard the whisper of my voice, so soft that another human would never have been able to hear. That was when he decided to save me. He had been considering creating a companion for years, but could never bring himself to do it. He told me later that hearing my prayers that day turned the tide for him. He hoped that maybe he could provide my miracle- the only chance at survival I would get, because I was dying right before his eyes._  
   
   
 _The change was excruciating. The fire ripped through my body for what felt like an eternity. When I awoke, he told me everything, and I opened my eyes to my new life, and hoped I could live as Carlisle had chosen. He insisted that I avoid humans until I could control my thirst, but I longed to see Isabel. I pushed my limits everyday- feeding on animals until I couldn’t possible drink anymore, and then walking among them, hiding in the shadows, trying to build a tolerance for the heavenly aroma of their blood. It had been three weeks, and I hadn't slipped, not even once. I had awoken with the ability to see into the minds of those around me, and I found this helped quell my thirst for human blood. I found it was easier when I felt like I knew them- their families, friends. I knew Carlisle wasn’t ready to trust my control, but I needed to see her._  
   
 _Again, fate intervened. Or so I told myself at the time. She had succumbed to the disease very quickly. Perhaps the news of my "death" had caused her to give up. I would never know. She was gone. My Isabel was gone, and I felt like a burning man- burning for eternity in the fires of Hades._  
   
   
 _*           *            *            *            *            *            *            *            *            *_  
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
   
     I found myself riddled with anxiety as I entered the cafeteria, my dream from the night before still burning in my brain. I hadn't seen his car in the parking lot that morning, and I was curious if he was in school today. I desperately wanted to compare him with the Edward in my dream, now that I knew he was the one I was dreaming of. I must be crazy, to have been dreaming of someone I had just met yesterday- someone who had barely said two words to me. He had spent the whole class period the day before staring at me from the corner of his eye, daring me to look, but never saying a word. I couldn't understand his behavior at all. Maybe that was all this was about- his behavior had thrown me, and now I was overcome with curiosity about him. And then I looked up, and saw the most beautiful pair of golden eyes staring back at me, calling to me, like a beacon in the fog, calling a ship home.  
   
  
 __


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. These charachters are not mine, and I have made no profit from them.

**Chapter 2: Here and now**  
   
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
     A voice behind me suddenly brought me back to reality.  
   
     "Bella, why is Edward Cullen staring at you?" Jessica was in most of my classes and had taken it upon herself to become my new best friend. "I'm not sure," I replied, "he barely spoke to me in Biology yesterday. I don't think he likes me."  
   
     "Well, he's definitely staring."  
   
     I followed her to the table where her other friends were already seated. That was the plus of my new BFF status with Jess; she had a lot of friends, so she introduced me to all of them. It was certainly easier than trying to make friends on my own- I had always been pretty shy.  
   
     When we sat down, they were all discussing their plans for the following weekend. The blonde boy, Mike- who Jessica obviously had a thing for- was trying to rally the troops for a trip down to First Beach. I hadn't been there since I was little and used to visit my dad here every summer.  
   
     "Sounds like fun Mike! I'm definitely in!" Jessica said emphatically.   
   
     "Me too!" squealed Lauren from the other end of the table.  
  
     "What about you, Bella?" asked Mike. Suddenly I felt everyone's eyes on me- even the ones across the room that I had been watching just a moment ago.  
   
     "Um, yeah. Okay. Sounds like fun."  
   
     And so it went for the rest of the lunch period. Everyone planning and discussing what we should bring, who would ride with whom, and so on. And the entire time, I could not tear my eyes away from Edward, sitting at the other end of the cafeteria. Sitting there with his brothers and sisters, looking painfully, heartbreakingly beautiful.   
   
     "Bella? Bella! Now you’restaring at him!" Jessica stated, drawing my attention back to my own table. "What is with you today?"  
   
     "Sorry Jess. I guess I was just wondering what I did to upset him, that's all."  
   
   
   
   
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
     _Edward, you're going to scare her away if you're not careful!_  
   
 _"_ Thanks, Alice. I'll do my best."  
   
     _Anytime. But seriously- she's going to be my best friend, Edward. I will never forgive you if you screw this up!_  
   
My other sister and brothers watched Alice's silent exchange with me with questions in their eyes, but I am sure they knew exactly what we were talking about.  
   
     Being able to read minds was usually a burden. I tried to give my family their privacy, but I could never really turn off the voices. Alice also had a gift- she could see the future, although her visions were subjective. Every time a decision was made, she could see the outcome. She had had a vision of her and Bella arm in arm, the best of friends. She was holding on to it like a lifeline, and quite frankly, so was I. If Alice and Bella would be close, that would surely bode well for me.  
   
     I still had not come up with a plan of action. Apparently, I would need to start speaking to her, because my silent staring and stalker-like behavior was not going to help at all.   
   
      _Seriously Edward, -_ it was Jasper this time- _your emotions right now are all over the place. Your making my head spin! Try and bring it down a level, okay? Do you need my help?_  
   
Jasper's talent could be very useful, but I didn't want him manipulating my emotions right now. "No thanks, Jasper. I think I can control myself."  
   
     Looking back across the room at Bella, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. "Sorry guys, I think I'm just going to head to biology now-"  
   
    "NO! Edward, you have to wait until after Bella leaves!"  
   
     "Alice, I know you mean well, but-"  
   
     "No!" she interrupted again. "You need to let her go first- trust me. You will thank me for this later!"  
   
   
   
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
   
As I walked out of the cafeteria headed for Biology, I noticed Edward rising from his table. I wondered to myself, walking away, if he would speak to me today. For some strange reason, his presence was stirring an emotion in me that I didn't understand or recognize.   
   
     Apparently, I was about to get my wish.    
   
     "Bella- excuses me, hi,” he said, running to catch up with me.   
   
     "Hi."  
   
     "I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday," he smiled crookedly, "I wasn't quite myself, and I'm very sorry if I was rude."  
   
     "You weren't rude at all." _Just confusing,_ I thought to myself. "Walk with me to class?"  
   
     "Yes," he replied.  
   
   
   
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
   
     Walking with her, talking with her like this- I was surer than ever that Isabel had returned to me.   
   
     "Where are you from, originally?" she asked curiously.  
   
     "Chicago-", I replied cautiously, gauging her reaction. "That is where Carlisle found me. He knew my parents, and when they died, well, I had no place else to go."  
   
     "So, Carlisle adopted you?"  
   
     "Yes, he and Seem have been my parents for a long while now."  
   
     She looked at me curiously. It was infuriating- I could not hear her thoughts. This was a first for me, and it had thrown me yesterday when I realized that her mind was silent. It only made me want her more. Unable to wait for a response, I asked her, "What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"  
   
     Clearly startled by my forward behavior, she replied, "Nothing- I just can't figure you out. Yesterday you were all weird and brooding, and today you're like an open book? I just don't get it. I'm not complaining- it's just kind of strange."  
   
     " I am sorry, Bella." I told her honestly. "You just seem to have this effect on me- I cannot explain it.”   
   
     We had arrived at our destination, and she gently placed her books on the table. Lacing her fingers together nervously she mumbled, "I thought it was just me." I don't think she intended me to hear, but my sensitive ears missed nothing. "So, tell me about Chicago- do you remember much about it?" she asked, carefully changing the subject.   
   
     "Yes and no. I was very young when I left the city." I wasn't sure where this conversation was going, and I didn’t want to give away to many details too soon.  
   
     "Well," she started, "what was your favorite place in the city?"  
   
     "That's easy- the city zoo. There was a beautiful park that we used to visit. We would sit on a bench near the water fountain and feed pigeons. Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday." I always felt wistful thinking of those times with my mother.   
   
     She looked confused- maybe even a little bewildered. "Did you say water fountain?"  
   
     "Yes," I replied, not sure why she was asking.  
   
     "Was there a mermaid in the middle of the fountain?" she asked hesitantly.  
   
     "Yes, I believe so. Bella, have you been there?" I asked. Was there a chance she remembered that fateful day over 90 years ago?  
   
     "No, not that I remember. But I think I've been dreaming about it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. I am not, nor ever have recieved any monetary gain from this work.

  
_"Thou art the only person in the world that ever was necessary to me. Other people have occasionally been more or less agreeable; but I think I was always more at ease alone than in anybody's company, till I knew thee. And now I am only myself when thou art within my reach."_ \- Nathaniel Hawthorne  
   
   
   
 **Chapter 3: Conflicted**  
   
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
 _She had been dreaming of Chicago._ She had tried to back-peddle, but I knew- _I knew._ She was dreaming of our time together. That fateful day in the park- I had meant to ask for her hand. Instead I fell ill, and would never see her again. Had she dreamt of anything else? Surely not, or she would have run screaming by now.   
   
     It had been two days since that conversation. We had barely spoken since. She, acting as if she were too embarrassed to speak to me, and I, well, I was afraid, if I was being honest with myself. There were times in our history that I wish she would never remember, but I couldn't exactly tell her that.  
   
     I had one advantage- I knew who she was, and that I loved her. I would have loved her regardless, but the fact that she so resembled Isabel- well, it only increased my desire to be near to her. But, I also knew that whatever she would or would not feel for me, I, at my very core, was a monster, and could not change that fact. Would it be better for her if she never remembered- if I gave up my pursuit of her affection? I was not sure, if given the choice, that I could knowingly damn her to an eternity of bloodlust. I had been battling my own inner demon for ninety years, and it was a battle I had lost many times. Could I really inflict that burden on her? Would she even want me to?  
   
     No, that was a decision I would never allow myself to make. For now, I would keep my distance, and perhaps be able to spare her the pain of what I was. It wasn't too late to keep her away from all of this. I loved her enough to put aside my own selfish desires in order for her to have a long, healthy life, and she would never know the difference.  
   
                                                           *  *  *  *  *  * *  *    
   
   
     Thank god, it was finally Friday. Humans say that all the time, but for the first time, I could understand the thought behind it. One more day of my own self-induced hell, and then I could have four days of peace- I hoped so anyways. Alice had seen that Monday and Tuesday would be sunny, which meant no school for the vampires. It had been torturous to sit beside Bella in class all week, trying to pretend that it didn't matter- that _she_ didn't matter. I needed a few days distance from her to ease my mind of the pain it would cause me to drive her away.   
   
     The sound of footsteps behind me brought me back to the present. "Hello, Edward." Just the sound of her voice made my heart ache.  
   
     "Good afternoon, Bella."   
   
     "So, are you ever going to speak to me again, or are we going to go on acting like we don't know each other at all? Because, I was kind of hoping maybe we could be friends, that is, if you wanted to." She seemed so unsure of herself. Surely she could see through me.   
   
     _Of course I want to be your friend, and so much more than that. "_ I don't know, Bella. I'm not really good at 'being friends' with people." That much was true- I hadn't had a human friend since 1918. Before she could respond, the teacher called the class to attention, effectively cutting our conversation short.   
   
     For an hour I sat there, desperately wanting to reach out and touch her- her beautiful chestnut hair, her soft alabaster skin- to tell her I had lied. I wanted her- every part of her- for now and forever. But I could not. So I sat, and tried to ignore the beautiful creature seated beside me, craving the solitude that the next few days would offer.  
   
     At the end of the hour, while we were packing up for the day, she made one last attempt. "I wanted to ask, if you were going to be around, if maybe you would want to get some coffee or something tomorrow?" How much courage had it taken her to ask me that simple question? I could feel the blush rising in her cheeks as I tried to avoid meeting her eyes.  
   
     "I thought everyone was going to the beach tomorrow." Of course I knew the group outing had been postponed.  
   
     "Well, the forecast is calling for heavy rain, so they decided to try again next week. So, are you interested?"  
   
     _Of course I am, my love, my life....._  "I don't think that it's a good idea, Bella. Besides, my brothers and I are going hunting up north, so I will be out of town this weekend."  
   
     "Oh. I get it, sorry. See you later, then.", and with that, she turned and walked away. It felt as if my heart would break, if such a thing were possible.  
   
   
                                                  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
   
   
     "You're plan won't work, you know." Alice. Stupid, psychic vampire.   
   
     "Maybe not, Alice, but I'm going to try anyways." I would never be able to make her understand, so I didn't even try.   
   
     Then Emmett put in his two-cents worth. "So, why the sudden change of heart, brother? I mean, you have been searching for this girl for years, and you finally find her again, and now you don't want to 'damn her to eternity'? What's up with that?" Emmett never held back. He said exactly what was on his mind and nothing less.  
   
     "I think that it may be selfish of me to wish for her to love me back, Em. Shouldn't it be enough for me to just know that she is alive and well, and try to keep her from the danger that she would surely face if she were to be a part of my life? I love her enough to try, even if it makes me miserable. I owe her that much, after everything that has happened in the past." They all knew the whole story, but they still did not see. This felt like the right thing to do, to ensure Bella's safety.  
   
     _We've been through this before, Edward. What makes you so sure that the outcome will be different this time?_ Carlisle had been with me through each of Isabel's incarnations. He had seen the hell I had put myself through on more than one occasion, and he also knew me better than anyone, accept maybe Alice.   
   
     "She's not my singer this time, Carlisle. She is my heart- my life. I will keep my distance if it keeps her safe."  
   
     _You don't have to put yourself through this, son. You could let her see the best parts of your soul, and let her love you in return._  
   
 _"_ My _soul?_ I don't want to have this argument with you again, Carlisle. You know where I stand on this subject." _My soul_. How could a monster such as myself have a soul? No, if I really had a soul, I never would have lost her in the first place. Her death had been my punishment for what I had become. And I had been repeatedly punished, over and over again, until my long dead heart ached in my chest.   
   
   
                                         * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * **** * * * * *  
   
   
       
   
     Keeping my distance from Bella proved to be more difficult than I could have imagined. By Sunday, I felt like the burning man again. _If I could just see her face, and know that she is okay,_ I thought. My emotions were so conflicted. I knew I needed the solitude of an extended hunting trip, but I couldn't convince myself to stay away. Jasper was so overwhelmed by the emotional climate surrounding me, that he and Alice decided to head back to Canada for the hunt, just to get out of range of my ever changing feelings. Rosalie was her usual smug self, chastising me for not being able to keep my promise to leave Bella alone. I was weak, and she knew it. I just needed to see Bella's face, to know for sure that she was real, and not just a dream.  
   
    And so I ran as fast as I could, back to Forks, back to Bella. Within an hour I had crossed into the city limits, and was swiftly making my way through the woods behind Bella's house. It was late- she would be asleep. It was better that way. She never needed to know I had been here. I silently scaled the side of her house, following the most beautiful scent in my world, to the window on the second floor that could only be her room. Peering through her window, I realized that she was mumbling. Had she woken up? No- definitely asleep. _She was talking in her sleep._ Was she dreaming of me, of our time together, again? I wanted to be necessary-I needed her like humans needed air to breathe, and I wanted her to need me the same way. " _Edward-",_ she said my name? What was I doing in her dreams tonight?  I closed my eyes, and for the first time in nearly ninety years, I prayed. I prayed to keep her safe. I prayed that Carlisle was right. And I prayed that she could love me someday, even though I knew there was nothing I could ever do to deserve possession of her heart.

  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. The Twilight charachters do not belong to me and I am making no profit from this publication.

  _"Oh, how hard this secret has become for me, that I, as long as we have known each other, have had to conceal!....I thought to discover selfishness in my wish, I feared that I had only my happiness in view, and that thought drove me back. Could I not become to you what you were to me, then my suffering would have distressed you, and I would have destroyed the most beautiful harmony of our friendship........And yet again there come moments, when my hope arose afresh, wherein the happiness, which we could give each other, seemed to me exalted above every, every consideration, when I considered it even as noble to sacrifice everything else to it. You could be happy without me- but not become unhappy through me. This I felt alive in me- and thereupon I built my hopes."_ \- Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller  
   
   
   
   
 **Chapter 4: Hope**  
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
  Four. Seven. Eight. Twenty-one. Funny how a silly little number can change your life forever. Four days since I had made a complete fool of myself and asked Edward Cullen on a date. Seven days since he had spoken, _actually spoken_ to me for the first time. Eight days since I had first laid eyes on him. Twenty-one days since he had begun haunting my dreams. Just a silly number- everything and nothing, all rolled into one.  
   
  I hadn't seen him since Friday. It was now Tuesday, and the entire Cullen family had been out of school for the last two days. Two- just another number to add to my list. Angela had been kind enough to let me know that the Cullen's were always out when the weather was good- something about family camping trips in the Canadian wilderness. Thank god for Angela, she had been my saving grace ever since my embarrassing display on Friday. "Nobody even knows about it, Bella," she said. "There were no witnesses, and it's not like he would ever tell anybody. You're the only person he has ever really talked to here at school." Angela was always really good at being the voice of reason. She was the only person in Forks that I really knew, besides Charlie. We had met four summers ago on my last trip here to visit my dad, and had kept in touch right up until I gave in and moved back here. She was also the only real friend I had ever had.  
   
 "I'm just still a little shell-shocked, Ang." I said. "It's not like I go around asking people out all the time- ever, for that matter. I don't know why I felt the need to start with Edward Cullen."  
   
  "Well, Jess definitely would have ambushed you by now if anyone in this school knew anything about it. I think you are safe. At least until you have to see him again."   
   
  Four days. Four days of stumbling around in a stupor, wondering what could have possibly possessed me to be so forward with someone I hardly knew. Four days of wondering if he would go back to pretending I didn't exist, or if he might brush off our encounter Friday and start speaking to me again. One week since I had met him, and I was completely obsessed with Edward. Funny how just a number can change your life.  
   
   
  Tuesday came and went. Wednesday proved to be my undoing.   
   
  My recurring dream was starting to change. Edward was becoming more prominent in the dream, and different, somehow. He was beginning to morph from the innocent looking boy into something darker- more mysterious. The previous night's dream left me with an uneasy feeling, and a lot more questions about who he really was. I had awoken in the morning in a cold sweat, troubled by the fierce, crimson eyes that had clouded my dream. What did they mean? I was beginning to feel like it was all related, but I couldn't figure out the how or why. His bizarre mood swings were making me dizzy, but I was sure I hadn't imagined the look in his eyes that first day that we met. It was like he had been trying to tell me something through those beautiful golden orbs, and I only needed to decipher his code to figure it all out. But first, I would need to get over my embarrasment about our encounter last Friday.  
   
  Lunch was a waste of time- well, maybe not completely. The other Cullen’s were all seated at their usual table, but no Edward. This was beginning to get ridiculous. My eyes kept drifting to the table in the far corner, hoping desperately that he would suddenly appear. On one of these glances, I locked eyes with the black-haired girl, his sister Alice. She was staring at me with a smirk on her face. What was up with these people? They were so- so cryptic! Everything in her expression reminded me of that first day with Edward. It felt like she was daring me to figure out what his secret was. I was growing more confused by the minute.  
   
  When I arrived at my biology class, he was already seated at our table. _Why hadn't he been at lunch? Why did I care?_ This was absolutely infuriating! I would have to speak to him- it couldn't be avoided since he had already met my gaze. "Hello, Edward." Simple enough, so why were my hands all clammy?  
   
  "Good afternoon, Bella. How was lunch?" What? Was he really making small talk with me?  
   
  "Uneventful," I replied. "You didn't miss anything." My insides were trembling. I hoped he couldn't tell how nervous I was. "So, how was your hiking trip?"  
   
  "Uneventful", he said as his lips twisted into a crooked smile. "The whole family was camping, but I ended up coming back early." Now I was confused.  
   
  "Didn't you just get back?” I asked not so subtly.  
   
  "No- I came back Sunday night. I just figured since I had already been excused from school by my parents, that I would take advantage of a couple of extra days to myself. It's not often I get a lot of privacy from my family." Had I just spent the last two days wondering if he was ever coming back from his trip, _and the whole time he was skipping school?_  
   
  "Well, I get more privacy than I could ever hope for-", I replied, lamely, "Charlie-my dad- works a lot, and even when he's home, we stay out of each other’s way."   
   
  "Bella," he hesitated," I wanted to apologize, again, if I was rude to you. When we talked on Friday, well, you caught me off guard. I've always been a very private person- I've never really had any friends outside of my family."  
   
  Here we go with the mood swings again."So it's not _my_ friendship your opposed to, just friendship in general?" I sounded so pathetic.   
   
  "I'm not opposed to friendship- with you- if that is still an option.” he practically whispered, as if he were just as embarrassed as I was.  
   
  "Well," I spoke softly, as the room was now full of students," aside from your manic mood swings, I think I might still like to be friends, Edward." My voice caught in my throat as I spoke his name, and I was sure it would give me away. The butterflies in my stomach were telling me that what I wanted most from Edward Cullen was something far more than friendship.  
   
 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  
   
  
  
  
  
  
 **EPOV**  
  
  
  
  
  
  She was doing that thing again, where she chewed on her bottom lip. She was nervous. It made me want to reach out and rub the spot with my thumb to keep her from giving herself a bruise. But I didn't. I don't think our new attempt at friendship would yet allow me to be so forward. But we were trying to be friends. It was a start.  
  
  
  
  It had only been a couple of days since we had agreed to try and get to know each other. I had asked Bella to join my family and I for lunch, but she was not quite ready for that, so we sat alone at a neutral table. For two days we had spent our lunch hour together, talking about everything and nothing at all. I was so curious to learn about Isabella Swan- to know if there were similarities to my long ago sweetheart, and learn about any differences between the two. So far, my only real impression of her was that, for all she appeared to be extremely shy, she also seemed unimaginably fearless. She was also incredibly insightful. She had insinuated on more than one occasion that she believed that I had a secret that she was trying to "flesh out". I still was not convinced that I wanted her to figure it all out.   
  
  
 Friday she asked about my weekend plans. "So, it looks like the beach trip is on for Saturday. Would you like to come with us?" _For the love of all that is holy, how was I going to get out of this_? "I mean, there are a lot of people going. We could just hang out. It might actually be fun if you were there."  
  
  
  
 "I don't think I can, Bella." I had to use caution here. That one statement had hurt her feelings- I could see it in her soulful, coffee colored eyes. "It is not because I object to spending the time with you, in fact, I would like nothing more. However, I promised my mother-"  
  
  
  
 "Edward, you don't have to explain."  
  
  
  
 "I think I do. I don’t wish to hurt your feelings. Like I said, having a friend is new to me. I promised my mother that I would help her this weekend. She has a project she is trying to finish up and she needed an extra set of hands." Esme hardly needed my help. She was capable of renovating entire estates on her own. Unfortunately, it was the best excuse I could come up with to avoid an explanation about why I couldn't possibly hang out at First Beach this weekend. There was plenty of time for _that_ conversation later, if Bella should actually discover the secrets I was so diligently keeping from her.   
  
  
  
  She was very gracious in her reply. "I understand. I guess I'm just not that excited to go, but I promised I would. Anyways, maybe we can hang out some other time."  
  
  
  
  "It would be my pleasure."   
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fiction. No profit has been made from this publication.

  
_"There is not a day in which your figure does not appear before me; your conversations return to my thoughts, and every scene, place or occasion where I have enjoyed them, are as livelily painted as an imagination equally warm and tender can be capable to represent them."_ -Alexander Pope  
   
   
   
   
 **Chapter 5: Legends**  
   
  **  
BPOV**  
   
   
  _I was walking through a vast garden, filled with flowers. There were rows upon rows of freesia, roses, lilies, and others I could not begin to name. I knew he was following me- I had seen him lurking in the shadows when I left the park, headed for home. The wind was at my back, and my hair was billowing around my face, blinding me temporarily- but still, I knew he was there. I knew this wasn't the first time he had watched over me, but it was the first time he had followed me so closely. The sky was beginning to grow dark, and suddenly, a feeling of unease washed over me. I began to pick up my pace. Then, just as I turned onto the wooded path towards my home, the wind changed, whipping violently against my face. I turned then, to shield myself from the brewing storm, and was met with a pair of ruby red eyes....._  
   
   
   
 BEEP.....BEEP......BEEP.........I sat straight up in bed, as my alarm clock whined that it was time to get up. As if I could have stayed asleep. My dream was getting really bizarre now. Somehow, I knew that the man in my dream was Edward, but I couldn't figure out the uneasy feeling it had given me. I had never felt ill at ease with Edward- not in _that_ way. But for a brief second, that last flicker before I awoke, I had been truly afraid. I couldn't make any sense of it. _Put it out of your head, Bella- you have plans today and you've got to get a move on.  
 _  
 I got up and headed for the shower, still unable to shake my dream. My imagination had spun out of control, and now I couldn't rein it in. So instead of talking myself down from my nightmare, I let the hot water take over for me. There was always something so therapeutic about a long, hot shower. When I finished, I got dressed and raked a comb through my damp hair, and tied it back in an elastic. As I headed downstairs, I could hear Charlie fumbling around in the kitchen. He was usually long gone by now on a Saturday- trolling lazily down the Quileute River with Billy Black for their weekend fishing adventures. "Good morning Dad."  
   
 "Morning, Bells. What are you up to today?"   
   
 "Me and Ang are headed down to La Push to meet some kids from school at the beach. You?", like I had to ask.  
   
 "Fishing with Billy, you know, the usual. Maybe you'll run into Jacob- Billy says he hangs out down there quite a bit." Jacob Black- I hadn't seen him since he was a kid.   
   
 "Dad, the last time I saw Jacob he was twelve years old. I wouldn't recognize him if he hit me with a truck."  
   
 "Well, just the same. Be nice, be careful, have fun. I gotta go- see you tonight?"  
   
 "Sure, dad." And he was out the door. It was comforting to know that some things never changed.  
   
   
 

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
   
 A short time later, Angela and I were on our way to La Push, with fresh coffee in hand. "So Ang," I said, "is Ben coming today?" Angela had been harboring a crush on Ben Cheney for a while now, and they had only recently started speaking to each other.  
   
 "He said he might. To be honest, Bella, that was the only reason I finally agreed to come out today. I hope he can make it." I hoped so too. Angela deserved something great in her life, and Ben seemed like a really good guy.  
   
 "Well, no offense, but I kind of wish I hadn't agreed to come. I'm not sure if I can take Lauren's dirty looks and snarky comments all day!"  
   
 "I don't know what her problem is," Angela replied, "she's probably just jealous because the boys in our circle pay more attention to you than her." Great, just what I needed. A jealous teenage girl on my case.  
   
 "It's only because I am new here. Give them a few more weeks, and she will have her harem back, I am sure of it."  
   
   
 We spent the rest of the ride in a comfortable silence. That was one of the things I liked about our friendship- neither one of us felt the need to fill the empty spaces with mindless chatter. She reminded me of Charlie, that way. Maybe that is why we got along so well.  
   
 When we arrived at the beach, everyone else was already there, setting up blankets and chairs, getting a campfire started, and dragging their coolers down to the beach. Angela spotted Ben and threw me a weak smile before making her way over to him. As I slowly made my way down the rocky path to the shore, I noticed that there were several kids from the reservation down on the beach as well. I was almost to the end of the trail when I suddenly lost my footing. "Crap!" I yelled as I started to tumble sideways, but before I could hit the ground, a pair of strong hands caught me under my arms.  
   
 "Careful, there," my savior chuckled softly, "wouldn't want you to get hurt on your first trip down here in five years! How are you, Bella?"  
   
  _Jacob Black_. Figures he would be the first person I would run into. "Jacob? Wow, you're all grown up!"  
   
 "I just turned sixteen. It's good to see you. Dad said he and Charlie were fishing today, and that you were coming down to the beach with some friends, so I thought I would come down and check things out. How are you? Are you settling in at Charlie's?" Jacob's warm smile was infectious, and I found myself talking to him very comfortably.  
   
 "I am getting settled. It's kind of weird to be back here after all this time, but I am glad in a way. It's nice to be around Charlie again." We began to make our way down the beach to where the party was finally coming together. "So how are things here on the reservation?"  
   
 "Same old, same old. Come on, let's go for a walk."

\--------------------------------------------

  
   
 At first I felt bad, leaving my friends on the beach, but I had an uncontrollable urge to catch up with Jacob. _After all_ , I told myself, _we've been friends since we were little kids_. So, we walked. And walked. And walked some more. I told him all about how my mom had gotten remarried, and that I had decided to move back so she could travel with her new husband, Phil. He told me about fixing up my truck, and the car he was currently rebuilding. Eventually, we made our way back to the beach. Some of the others in my group had ventured away to check out the tide pools and some of the hiking trails, but most of the kids from La Push were still around. Lauren was sitting on a rock talking with Tyler and another boy from our school that I didn't know, casting me dirty looks like I had just stolen her puppy or something. "So Bella," she said sarcastically, "why didn't you ask your best friend, Edward Cullen, to join us today?"   
   
 I was just about to answer, when one of Jacob's friends shot back, "Dr. Cullen's son? They don't come down here." It was a simple statement, but there definitely sounded like there was more to it than that.  
   
 "Jake," I whispered, "what is he talking about?"  
   
 "Nothing, I'll tell you about it later." Poor Jacob- he looked a little embarrassed.   
   
 "Why don't we go for another walk? I don't think I can stand to be around Lauren much longer" I told him honestly. Besides, I really wanted to find out what his friend had meant about the Cullens.

\--------------------------------------------------

  
   
 "So, Jake, what was that all about with your friend?" Charlie had told me that there had been problems between the Quileutes and Dr. Cullen, but I could not imagine why.  
   
 "Jeesh, Bella. It's really kind of silly. Just a bunch of old men taking the legends too literally, I guess. Sam's on the council, now, so of course he's going to follow their lead." I was right before. He was slightly embarrassed by this Sam's behavior.  
   
 "Well, I'm interested, if you want to talk about it?" It was a long shot, but I had been trying so hard to figure out what Edward's secret was, that I would take whatever information I could get.  
   
 "Okay. It's really all about the tribal legends. They are really nothing more than scary stories told to the young ones to make them follow the rules, and things like that." This wasn't making any sense yet.  
   
 "What do you mean?" I asked directly.  
   
 "Our tribal legends- the Quileutes are said to be descendant from wolves. The Cullen's are supposed to be part of some enemy tribe- dangerous to the Quileutes, or so they say. I told you it was foolish."  
   
 "Tell me more, I promise I won't laugh," I replied with a smirk on my face.  
   
 "Alright, if you insist. See, our ancestors were said to have been werewolves- silly, I told you. It is still against tribal law to kill a wolf. Anyways, the natural enemies of the werewolves are the blood drinkers- the cold ones they are called in our stories. There was supposedly this clan of cold ones that came to the area, but the tribe learned that they only drank the blood of animals, not humans. So, the tribal elders forged a treaty with them to live in peace. As long as they didn't kill humans, then the tribe would not reveal their existence to the pale faces." He didn't seem as if he believed any of it.  
   
 "Wait- I'm not sure I get it. Are the Cullens supposed to be descendant of this other tribe?" This conversation had gotten very bizarre.  
   
 "No- they are the same as the ones that were here before. That's why none of us are allowed to go to the hospital in Forks. They don't want us anywhere near Dr. Cullen or his family."  
   
 Wow. "That seems kind of silly, Jake."   
   
 "Tell me about it," he replied. "Last fall, Seth Clearwater broke his arm cliff diving. His folks wouldn't take him to the hospital. They got Dr. Gerandy to agree to come out to the rez to set it for him. Now Sam is on the council- he's only nineteen- nobody that young has been on the council that I can ever remember. It's all just a little strange, don't you think?"   
   
 "Yeah, I guess. Do you believe any of it?" It sounded so far-fetched.  
   
 "No- they're just old stories, Bella, told to scare the crap out of a bunch of kids."  
   
 

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
   
 Angela hitched a ride home with Ben, so I drove back to Forks alone. Just me and my thoughts. And a scary story I couldn't get out of my head.   
   
 It didn't make any sense. I couldn't connect Jacob's story with the Edward Cullen that I knew. _How could they not be human_?  Impossible. Although, it certainly made last night's dream feel all that much more real- and frightening. I could still see those bright red eyes, just as if he were right in front of me now. I shuddered at the thought. _Stop letting your imagination run wild, Bella_. Scaring myself was not going to help at all.  
   
 I spent the rest of the afternoon busying myself with household chores. I threw in a load of laundry, washed the breakfast dishes that I had left this morning, and slowly started to get things ready to make a lasagna for Charlie's dinner. It felt good to keep my hands moving, and it helped to occupy my mind as well. The more I thought about the tale Jake had told me, the more confused I became. Was it possible that Edward could be something other than human? Did it really matter to me if he was? My obsession with him had gotten beyond my control. He occupied nearly every corner of my mind. Not a minute went by that my thoughts did not return to his beautiful face with that crooked smile, his unruly, bronze colored hair, and his beautiful golden eyes.  
   
 As I climbed into bed that evening, I decided that I would wait things out. I didn't have to confront him with my new discovery. I could just observe him, as well as his family, for a while, and see if I could gather anymore information that might give me the answers I so desperately needed. And again, as soon as I found sleep, Edward Cullen found me in my dreams.  
   
 

\------------------------------------------------------

  
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
 Weekends had become the bane of my existence. Any period of time that I was forced to be away from Bella was absolutely excruciating to me. Several times I had gone to her home in the night, just to make sure she was okay. I would sit in the tree outside her window and watch her sleep. Tonight was no different, except that on this night, after I was certain that she and Charlie were both out for the night, I opened her window, and entered her room for the first time.   
   
 She was beautiful when she slept, almost as beautiful as she was every other time I had seen her. Her fair skin glowed softly in the moonlight, and her thick hair was spread out across her pillow. She shivered, and I reached for the extra blanket at the foot of her bed and tucked it in around her. I crossed the room and sat down in the antique rocker in the corner. I sat. I watched her. And I listened. All night.   
   
 She was talking in her sleep again. Most of it was too jumbled to understand. A couple of times she said my name, and I could feel my dead heart swell in my chest. I was still not sure that I could believe she might want me as more than a friend. Although Alice had told me over and over that she had foreseen it, I still couldn't wrap my head around it. _How could she ever want me once she found out the truth of what I was_? And the rest of our tale- well, she might not believe it at all. I only knew that for now, she wanted me in her life. However small that role was, I would relish it, not knowing how long it might last.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. No profit is being made from this publication.

_When the heart is full it may run over; but the real fullness stays within...Words can never tell you...How perfectly dear you are to me- perfectly dear to my heart and soul. I look back and in every one point, every word and gesture, every letter, every silence- you have been entirely perfect to me- I would not change one word, one look._ \- Robert Browning   
  
  
  
  
**Chapter 6: Changes**  
  
  
  
 **BPOV**  
   
   
      It had been weeks since my trip to La Push. I had done my best to push my conversation with Jacob to the back of my mind. It seemed silly to think that Edward might be anything other than human. After all, vampires and werewolves only existed in books and movies, not in real life.  
   
     But there were little things- things I couldn't quite explain to myself. Some of them were minor, like Alice. She had started having lunch, on occasion, with Edward and me. That, in and of itself, was not so strange- she had informed me that she had been hoping to have a girlfriend while they were here, and that since Edward seemed to like me, that I was the perfect candidate. The weird part was that she would make these little comments that seemed totally random, and then something would happen the next day that suddenly made the previous conversation make complete sense. Almost like she could see the future, or something. And then there was Edward himself. Every conversation felt like we were talking in circles, like he was afraid to give too much away. He never really talked about his birth family- only to say they had been gone a long time, and that he didn't remember much. Every time I tried to get him to talk about himself, he would turn the subject back to me. And even though the vampire thing seemed far-fetched, there was definitely something he was hiding.  
   
     Then, there were the eyes. They all had the same golden eyes. But they were all adopted. It was bizarre. But the weirdest part was that they changed color. One day he would sit across from me at lunch, and they would be a beautiful butterscotch. Then, over the course of a week or two, they would deepen- first to amber, and then to almost black. Then he'd show up Monday morning and they would be back to the warm gold I preferred. I had never seen anything like it. And I still couldn't explain the way he appeared in my dreams, with eyes of emerald and crimson.  
   
     I was afraid to push him for answers to my questions- our friendship was still in the awkward phase. We only saw each other in school. I still had no clue what Edward did after the bell rang at 3:00 every afternoon. Maybe it was the air of mystery that drew me to him, but I just couldn't convince myself to stay away. We would seek each other out in the hallways and at lunch every day, almost like some type of magnetic force was pulling us together.  
   
     The first Wednesday in March, everything changed. When I arrived at school, the lot was already full, so I had to park out on the street. As I walked through the parking lot, I noticed Edward leaning against his car, watching me. He was waiting for me to arrive. He never did that. A crooked smile lit his face as I approached. "Good morning, Bella," he breathed softly.  
   
     My voice caught in my throat as I replied, "Hi, Edward." The effect he had on me was crazy. _How could he not know how obsessed with him I was?_ "So, were you waiting for me?"  
   
     "Yes, actually. There was something I wanted to speak with you about without an audience around." Well, this was a new development. "You see, Alice and I talk about you so much at home, that our parents are dying to meet you."  
   
     "You talk about me? _In front of your parents?"_ I must be going into shock. My face felt numb.  
   
     "Yes, of course we do. Anyways, I was thinking maybe we could get together this weekend- maybe see a movie or something- and then I could take you to meet my parents. Like I said, they are very excited to meet the girl who made friends with both Alice and me." God, he was beautiful. It took all of my focus to form a reply.  
   
     "You mean you and me? Like a date?" _Brilliant, Bella._ He must already be regretting this.

  
     "Yes, if that would be agreeable to you." The crooked smile was back, reaching all the way to his eyes.  
   
                                             --------------------------------------------------  
   
   
     He walked me to each of my classes, which felt a little odd, since the only one we had together was biology. But without fail, he would be waiting outside the door when my class was dismissed to walk me to the next. This went on right through lunch, where he led me through the lunch line, piling things on a tray for us to share. Then, in his boldest move yet, instead of sitting in the chair across from me, which was his usual routine, he sat right beside me. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.   
   
     "Mike Newton absolutely despises me right now," he said casually, reaching over to tuck a stray hair behind my ear.  
   
     "For what reason? Might I ask?" The blush was getting worse.  
   
     "Because," he replied, never taking his eyes from mine, "he wishes desperately that he were sitting in the exact spot that I am in right now." I wasn't sure what this new attitude of his meant, but I was enjoying it.  
   
     "Oh, really?" I tried to remain casual. "And how can you be so sure?" Alice chuckled in response to the question.  
   
     "Most people are very easy to read, Bella."   
   
     "Seriously?" Now I was curious. "What about me? Can you read me so easily?"  
   
     "You, my dear, are an enigma- I cannot read you at all, and it is extremely frustrating." I wasn't sure how to respond, other than staring at him in fascination. When the warmth started to creep back into my cheeks, I looked back to the tray in front of me.  
   
     "So, where would you like to go this weekend?" I asked shyly.  
   
     We settled on our plans for Saturday, deciding that he would pick me up in the morning, and then we would head to Port Angeles for lunch and a matinee at the movie theatre there. When lunch period was over, we made our way to biology, and after that, to our last classes of the day. He was waiting for me again after gym, and we slowly made our way to the parking lot. I wasn't ready for the day to be over. His behavior today had changed everything, in ways I never expected.  
   
     When we got to his car, he stopped. "So," he said, "I'm very much looking forward to Saturday."  
   
     "Me too- although I'm still not sure what brought on this change of heart you've had." I desperately wanted to keep him talking- I wasn't ready to leave him yet.  
   
     "I suppose that I've just grown tired of fighting what I want." His eyes, now amber, bore into mine with an intensity I had only seen from him once before- from across the crowded cafeteria on my first day at Forks High School.  
   
     "Well, for the record, I'm glad you've stopped fighting." I grinned sheepishly up at him through my eyelashes. He reached out and laced his fingers through mine, making my hand tingle everywhere his skin touched mine.  
   
     "Break it up, lovebirds!" Alice and her impeccable timing.  
   
     "Hey, Alice," I smiled, still not looking away from Edward's hand, wound around my own. "I guess I should get home. I've got some things to get done before Charlie gets home."  
   
     "Would you like me to walk you to your truck?" he asked, ever the gentleman.  
   
     "No," I replied, "I think I can manage."  
   
     He leaned forward and whispered in my ear, before letting go of my hand, "I'll be waiting here for you tomorrow."  
   
     I smiled in return and said, "It's a date."  
   
     I waved a goodbye to Alice, and made my way to the sidewalk. When I got to the corner, I turned back to look at Edward one last time. He was watching me, with my favorite crooked smile on his beautiful lips. He waved, and I smiled and waved back. I turned again and stepped out into the crosswalk, and then several things happened at once.  
   
     First, I heard a car horn blaring loudly, and then screeching tires. And just as I spun around to see the oncoming car, something hit me from behind, spinning me back around in my original direction. I finally landed on something cold and hard. I thought it was the pavement, until I opened my eyes to see Edward, on the ground beneath me- panic in his now onyx eyes.  
   
   
   
   
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
     I heard Alice gasp, just as I saw the vision in her mind. Before I could even think, I was in the street, Bella in my arms, and rolling to a stop between two cars on the other side. I held her on top of me, trying to keep her from hitting her head on the pavement. Her eyes were closed- _Had she passed out?_ "Bella? BELLA! Look at me- open your eyes! Are you alright?" I frantically ran my fingers over her face and skull, checking for any possible injuries.  
   
     "E-Edward? How? What happened?" Relief flooded through me with her words.  
   
     "You were very nearly crushed by an oncoming car- are you alright?" There was a confused look in her eyes. Perhaps she _had_ hit her head- maybe she had a concussion.  
   
     "I know that- but you pushed me out of the way? How on earth did you get to me so fast?" _Damn, I wasn't expecting that._   
  
     "I was right behind you. I was running after you to tell you something else before you left." I hope she bought it.   
   
     "Edward, _I saw you_ , right before I heard the horns. You were standing with Alice beside your car. There's no way you could have gotten over here so quickly." She was much more observant than I had given her credit for.   
   
     "As much as I would like to argue with you about this, I think we need to get you to the hospital- you could have a concussion or something." I needed to try and distract her from her thoughts.   
   
     "I'm fine, Edward, really."  
   
     A small crowd had gathered around to see what had happened and make sure we were both okay. "Humor me, love. I know you think you are alright, but I would feel much better if my father examined you. And I'm not sure, with the crowd that has formed, that you'll be able to keep this from Chief Swan." I knew this logic would not be lost on her.  
   
     "Fine, take me to the hospital. But no ambulance- you drive me there, yourself."  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. No copywright infringement intended.

_You could give yourself to another, but none could love you more purely or more completely than I did. To none could your happiness be holier, as it was to me, and always will be. My whole existence, everything that lives within me, everything, my most precious, I devote to you, and if I try to ennoble myself, that is done, in order to become ever worthier of you, to make you ever happier. Nobility of souls is a beautiful and indestructible bond of friendship and of love. Our friendship and love become indestructible and eternal like the feelings upon which we establish them_. -Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller  
   
   
   
 **Chapter 7: Revelations**  
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
  The ride to the hospital was tense. Edward kept running his hand over me, checking for injuries, I guessed. I couldn't even speak to him. My mind kept replaying that day in La Push with Jacob. His stories didn't seem quite so far-fetched anymore. Edward's recent super-hero maneuver had been like a wake-up call for me. Suddenly, a million little things that I had never thought to notice before were piling up in front of me, demanding to be considered.   
   
  His eyes changing color, the way he seemed to be so _still_ sometimes- unnaturally still. He was incredibly fast- I had just witnessed that first hand. His body had felt like a cold stone under mine, not soft and warm like a human body. His skin was like ice. I had been so focused before on the touching, and the electricity sparking between our fingers, that I hadn't even thought about how cold his skin had been. When he held my hand in his, I hadn't noticed. Cold and hard, like a marble statue. _Was it possible?_ Could Edward really be a vampire?  
   
 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

  
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
  "I told you I was fine," she said to me impatiently.  
   
  I looked into her eyes and replied, "And I told _you_ that I would feel much better if Carlisle examined you, and I do." A look of concern washed over her face as she broke away from my gaze.  
   
  "Bella," Carlisle said, "everything looks fine. I would still like you to get plenty of rest over the next couple of days. You're body has had quite a shock today."  
   
  "Thanks, Dr. Cullen." She turned and looked at me finally. "Edward, I think we need to talk." This was the part where she would tell me she knew what a monster I was, and run screaming from the building.  
   
  "Of course- should we go somewhere more private?" I had no idea how heated this might get.  
   
  "Why don't you two use my office," Carlisle offered. "Bella, I can stall your father, if you think you might need a ride home?"  
   
  "No, thanks. Please make up an excuse for me? I'm not sure how long this will take. I can find another ride home." Was she just trying to be brave in front of my father? I hated, now more than ever, that I could not read her thoughts.  
   
  "No problem, Bella. Edward, I'll be on rounds if you need me." Carlisle always knew what I needed, even if I wasn't sure of it myself.  
   
  "Thank you, Carlisle. I think we'll be alright." I sat, watching Bella, as she watched him walk out the door.  
   
 

\------------------------------------------------

  
   
  "Tell me what you know." I wasn't going to let her stall- we needed things out in the open.   
   
  "I don't know anything." Her answer was much too quick.  
   
  "Yes, you do, or we would not be having this conversation right now."  
   
  "Fine." She said, giving in to my demand. "I heard something about you, weeks ago, but it seemed so ridiculous that I just pushed it out of my mind, but-"  
   
  "But it doesn't seem so ridiculous anymore?" _What had she heard?_ I really wasn't sure where this was going. "Bella, _please_. Tell me."  
   
  "It was down at La Push-" This was worse than I thought. "I was talking with my friend, Jacob? He was telling me some local legends, just trying to scare me, I think. He didn't seem to actually believe any of them. And like I said, I had pushed it to the back of my mind- until today." Our treaty with the Quileutes was old, and we hadn't found any wolves in the area, but it did make sense for them to pass the stories down through the generations. Poor Jacob probably didn't even realize that his actions had actually broken that treaty- not that _we_ would do anything about it.  
   
  "And what is it, exactly, that he told you Bella? And, why now, do you suddenly choose to believe it?" I wanted her to say it, so that I didn't have to. I was such a coward.  
   
  "Well," she began hesitantly, the words coming more quickly as she went along, "there were a lot of things that I never thought about before. And when you pushed me out of harm's way, I suddenly started thinking about them." She couldn't meet my eyes, and the blush was rising in her cheeks. Would she run when this was over? Before I could form a reply, she continued. "You're incredibly fast- superhero fast. Your skin is cold and hard as stone. I've never seen you eat, or go out in the sun. Edward, I didn't feel a pulse when you held my hand. What are you?"  
   
  "What do you think I am?" _A monster? The devil himself_? My dead heart felt as though it might break.  
   
  She met my eyes and whispered, "They call you 'the cold ones'." I tried to keep the mask in place, so as not to show her the fear I was feeling at that moment.   
   
  I returned her gaze and asked carefully, "Are you afraid?" I heard her heartbeat speed up at my question, and she looked down at her hands, wringing them together nervously. As she raised her eyes again to mine, there were questions there, but no fear.  
   
  "No, I'm not."  
   
 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

  
   
  She had a lot of questions, and I tried to answer her as honestly as possible. Her first question, to my surprise, was not about my diet. "How can you be out in the daytime?" She was smiling. My heart was singing.  
   
  "Most of the things you think you know about us are myths. Sunlight, garlic, crosses- all myth. I quite enjoy the daytime, but I never let humans see me in the sunlight."  
   
  "Why not?" She asked curiously.  
   
  "Our skin is translucent, and reflects the sunlight like a prism. It is a mark of what we are. Actually, one of the reasons we like this particular area is that the weather conditions are conducive to us not being housebound during daylight hours. I must say, Bella, you are taking this all very well- I wasn't expecting that."  
   
  "Well," she replied, "I told you, I'm not afraid of you. I'm not sure why- it's just an instinct, I guess, telling me that you'd never hurt me. Isn't it hard to be around people though? And Carlisle? Working here, around all that blood?" Now she was getting to the point.  
   
  "Sometimes, yes, it can be difficult. We- my family and I- feed on animals instead of humans. We consider ourselves 'vegetarians'. Over time, we become less sensitive to the smell of human blood. There are times, for some of us, when the call of a human's blood is too strong. There have been........accidents. But nothing for the last fifty years or so." I watched her, gauging her reaction before I continued. "I thought, at first, that it might be safer for you if I kept my distance and didn't get involved with you, but I was too weak."  
   
  "What do you mean?" She looked at me with nothing but concern in her eyes- concern for _me_.   
   
  "I mean- I knew from the first moment our eyes met all those weeks ago, that I wanted you. And I tried to convince myself that I was too dangerous to be in your life- that I might hurt you if I got too close. But I couldn't stay away from you, Bella. The pull was too strong; but it wasn't your blood that called to me- it was your _soul_." I didn't want to push her too far, but I couldn't stop the words at that point.   
   
  "I wanted you, too." She replied. "I thought, at first, that you hated me. I couldn't understand why- you didn't even know me. I'm glad you changed your mind." Her soft smile had returned. "You never answered me, about Carlisle. How can he work as a doctor?"  
   
  "Carlisle has lived this life a very long time- he has never fed from a human. In fact, the only time he has ever even tasted human blood was when he changed the four of us- Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and myself." Maybe she was in shock, but she still didn't recoil at my matter-of-factness.  
   
  "What about Alice and Jasper? He didn't change them as well?"   
   
  "No- they came to us on their own. Alice can see the future. She woke from her transformation and had a vision, first of finding Jasper, and then of our family. They came to us a few years later, and have been a part of our family ever since." I loved this new found honesty between us. I had never felt more hope than I did right now- not since I had been human.   
   
  "Bella, there is more that I should tell you. First, I think you should know that I love you. I do not expect a reply; I just needed to tell you. I have felt it and kept it to myself for so long- I just need for you to know." I searched her face for the answers I had longed for since that very first day.  
   
  She looked down suddenly, grasping my hand and holding it firmly in her own. Slowly, she raised her eyes back to meet mine. "I love you too, Edward." My heart felt like it would burst out of my chest at this revelation. I could not contain the smile that was forming on my lips.   
   
  "There's more, Bella," I said, seriously this time, "and I'm not sure of how you will react. I need for you to hear me out."  
   
  "Okay. Whatever it is, Edward, I can deal with it. I mean, I'm in love with a vampire- how much worse can it get?" She had a point.  
   
  "Do you believe in reincarnation?" Her expression was confused, but still open to my words.  
   
  "Yes, I guess. I've never really thought about it before. What is this about?"  
   
  I took a deep breath- not because I needed the air, but to steady myself. "It's about you and me, and our history."  
   
  "I'm not sure I follow." She was still confused, and starting to look a little worried.  
   
  "Before I was changed, I was in love with a young woman. She was beautiful- a lot like you in so many ways. Her name was Isabel, and I intended to marry her. But I fell ill, and was very close to death. Carlisle saved me, but Isabel died from the same disease that almost took me- that did take both of my parents. I was devastated. I thought I would never recover from her loss, but-" I couldn't continue. I felt the tearless sob building in my chest.  
   
  "Is that why you're here, Edward? Because of her? _Because I remind you of her_?" There was a note of panic in her voice that was building with each word she spoke. "Is it really me that you love, Edward? Do you love me for _me_? Or because I look like someone you once loved?"  
   
  "Bella, love, you _are_ her. You have her soul. It's not the first time we have found each other. I knew the minute our eyes met-"  
   
  "STOP!" she yelled, inching away from me now. "You said you loved me. How can I believe that after you just finished telling me how much I reminded you of your dead fiancée?"  
   
  "Bella, _please_ ," I begged her, "don't run from me! I need you to understand. I need you to tell me what you are feeling."  
   
  "I don't know what I feel right now, Edward. I'm confused and a little hurt. I just feel like I can't be near you right now. I need time to think." How had this gone so wrong so quickly?  
   
  "I can take you home, if you like?"  
   
  "No, I'll call Alice. I need to be away from you for a little while."  
   
   
 

\---------------------------------------------------------

  
   
 **BPOV**

   I could feel the panic beginning to rise in my chest. As soon as he brought up his fiancée I stopped hearing anything else. Did he really love _me?_ Was I just a replacement for someone he had lost long ago?  
   
     I knew that my words had hurt him, but I was so confused. I knew if I let him near me right now, that his touch, the feel of his breath on my face, would only distract me from the feelings I was trying to sort out. I reached for my phone as I opened the door, but she was already there, waiting. "I saw that you might need a ride?" Alice- my psychic vampire best friend.   
   
  "Thanks Alice. Edward-", I said, turning to face him again, "please, give me some time. I can't process all of this right now."  
   
  The expression on his face nearly had me undone- he said nothing, only nodding to confirm that he understood my wishes.  
   
  "Goodbye, Edward." _I love you._   
   
  I heard him whisper as I turned to walk out the door, "Goodbye, my love."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Have you ceased to love me? Forgive me, love of my life, my soul is racked by conflicting forces. My heart, obsessed by you, is full of fears which prostrate me with misery...I am distressed not to be calling you by name. I shall wait for you to write it. Farewell! Ah! if you love me less you can never have loved me. In that case I shall truly be pitiable_. -Napolean Bonaparte  
   
   
   
 **Chapter 8: Lost and Insecure**  
  
  
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
 I couldn't be sure how long I had been standing there- time meant nothing to me now. Bella had left me, and I was sure she would never return.  
   
 None of my family was at the house when I arrived. Carlisle was still at the hospital, Alice was with Bella, and the others were most likely hunting. I was truly alone. The irony was not lost on me.   
   
 So, I continued to stand there, staring at the ancient wooden cross that hung on the second floor landing. In all the years since I had been changed, I had never questioned the existence of God- only the existence of my soul. It was an argument that Carlisle and I had had many times over. He believed our souls remained with us, and that our choice of lifestyle would make us redeemable in the eyes of God. I believed that our very nature made us monsters, and that surely that meant we had no soul. I had stopped praying to God when I ceased to be human. There had been no point, I told myself. God wouldn't hear me.  
   
 Until Bella. She changed everything for me. Even though Isabel had come back to me so many times, this time was different- _she_ was different. For one brief moment, she had been mine, and I had silently given thanks to God for allowing me such joy. And then it was gone- she was gone. And suddenly there was a black hole, where once there had been just loneliness. I was now completely lost.   
   
  _Where were you?_ I asked. _Oh, merciful God? Where were you when my life was falling apart_? She was the only one who had ever touched my heart, and now she was gone- again. Just one more cruel reminder from God that my soul no longer existed. I wanted to run, as far away as I could get. My family should not have to endure my pain any longer. This time I would not be able to claw my way out of the abyss. I should spare them my grief. But I could not move. So I stood, staring at the cross, cursing God for abandoning me in my darkest hour.   
   
 I never realized anyone had returned until I felt her hand on my shoulder.  
   
   
   
 **Esme POV**  
   
   
 I didn't know how long he had been there. Carlisle had called and told me what had transpired between Edward and Bella. I had returned home as quickly as possible, in hopes of being some sort of comfort to my son. I had been watching him for several minutes, but he was totally unaware of my presence. He was staring at the old wooden cross that had once belonged to Carlisle's father. I knew where his thoughts must be going.

     He had been alone for so long- I thought that this would be his chance to finally have the love he had desired for so many years. And now? Well, I had no idea how this all might turn out.  
   
  I approached him slowly, and gently rested my hand on his shoulder. "Edward," I whispered, "are you all right?"  
   
 "I'm sorry?" he replied, with vacant eyes, clearly confused. I had never seen him like this before. I took his hand and led him to his room.  
   
 "Edward, son, you can talk to me, if it will help at all." I wanted to reassure him without being intrusive. My heart was breaking for him, as I knew nothing I could say would really make it better for him. But, I needed to try and get through to him.  
   
 "Esme, I- I can't..." his voice caught as he tried to speak. He fell to his knees and caught his face in his hands. His body was trembling with his tearless sobs. I sat beside him and took his head in my lap, gently brushing my hands over his hair, trying to soothe him without words. Together, we sat. It might have been minutes, it might have been hours. It didn't matter. My son was broken, and I had no idea if he would ever recover.  
   
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
  The ride back to my house with Alice was silent. My thoughts were in Carlisle's office, and what had been said there. Edward's words had cut right to the core of my insecurities. He didn't love me. He still loved her- _I was just a reminder of her_. At least that's what the little voice in my head kept telling me. Still, the look of pure pain in his eyes when I had pushed him away was eating away at me. Maybe I was wrong about his feelings for me. The real question I needed to ask myself was if I could trust myself enough to let him in. Before he brought her up, I was completely sure of his feelings in regards to me. So why had I let just a few words negate all the rest?   
   
 When she pulled into the driveway behind Charlie's cruiser, I finally broke the silence. "Alice," I began, "Edward told me you can see the future?" It came out as more of a question than a statement of fact. Luckily, she understood where I was going.  
   
 "Bella, my visions are subjective. I can't see what will happen until you decide what you are going to do. Until then, everything is just jumbled up and changing constantly." I hoped she was being totally honest with me.  
   
 "I kind of thought you might say that. I wish I knew what to do." My mind was working overtime, and I was both physically and mentally exhausted. So much had happened in just a few short hours. Was it really only this afternoon that Edward had rescued me from the speeding car, and told me that he loved me? Such a short time since I had discovered that he as a vampire- and now that was the least of our problems.   
   
 "You'll know, Bella. Just give yourself some time to think things through. I truly believe that things will work out, and it's not because of any vision. It's because I've seen how you two look at each other, and I know in my heart you belong together." Alice was such an optimist.   
   
 "Thanks, Alice. And thanks for the ride home."  
   
 "Get some sleep, Bells. Try not to worry so much."

Sleep. How could I possibly sleep? My head was reeling from the idea that Edward and I had possibly been together before- in another life. _Could it really be?_ I believed reincarnation was a possibility, but I had never thought of it in regards to myself. All I knew for sure was that I loved Edward Cullen, and somehow, I needed to come to terms with the bombshell he had just dropped on me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Love me always, love me always. You have been the supreme, the perfect love of my life; there can be no other........O sweetest of all boys, most loved of all loves, my soul clings to your soul, my life is your life, and in all the world of pain and pleasure you are my ideal of admiration and joy_. -Oscar Wilde  
   
   
   
 **Chapter 9: Never Say Never**  
   
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
 I awoke to sunlight streaming through my window. _At least I wouldn't have to see Edward today_. I hated that I felt that way, but I wasn't ready to face him yet.  
   
 Charlie had been his usual self when I got home the night before. He checked to make sure I was okay, and then let me go up to bed. I hadn't felt like eating anything, and he didn't push the issue. Once again left alone with my thoughts, I lay staring at the ceiling for God knows how long before I finally passed out from sheer exhaustion.  
   
 Of course, he was in my dreams. He was always there. This night the dream was of _my_ Edward. The one with the smoldering golden eyes and cold skin. It was like my mind was on automatic rewind, continually playing images of him from the last eight weeks. Edward staring at me on my first day, agreeing to test the waters of friendship, sitting across from me at lunch every day. And then the more recent memories. Edward asking me to meet his parents, sitting beside me, wrapping his hand around mine- saving my life. Telling me that he loved me. I woke more confused than ever, not knowing what I should believe. I still wasn't sure that I trusted his feelings for me. How could he think I was this _Isabel_? Sure, our name was similar, but I was Bella- no more, no less.  
   
 I got out of bed and got ready to go to school. I was relieved that he wouldn't be in school because of the weather, but I was anxious as well- it had been a while since I had to go any length of time without seeing him. I wouldn't even have Alice to talk to. It was going to be a very long day.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

  
   
 When the day finally came to an end, I headed back home, hoping to be able to keep my mind occupied and off of Edward. I was being a coward, I knew, by not just dealing with my feelings and everything I had learned. I could handle the vampire thing- I knew he would never physically hurt me. But I could never deal with being his second choice. He was my first choice, my _only_ choice, and I wanted the same in return.  
   
 Charlie arrived home after work, and I greeted him with a homemade meal of steak and potatoes with vegetables- his favorite. I was kind of sucking up for not being around much the last couple of days. My little accident yesterday had really upset him, and I decided I should do something nice. Luckily for me, Charlie was easy to please. He helped me clean up the dinner dishes, and I was soon saying my goodnights. He stayed behind to catch the game on TV, and I headed upstairs.  
   
 Sleep found me quickly, and I was once again dreaming of Edward. This time, I was back to the original dream. Walking with the green-eyed Edward through the park. There was something about this dream that was bothering me- something I had never noticed before, but I couldn't figure out exactly what it was. I felt like I had been there before- not just in my sleep, but for real. It was impossible, I knew, but I couldn't shake the feeling.  
   
 Friday turned out to be more of the same. Another sunny day in Forks. Another day without Edward. I knew he wouldn't seek me out after my request for time. I would have to make the first move, but I knew I wasn't ready. I was feeling more lost than ever.  
   
 I decided to spend my free time after school doing a little research on Chicago. My nighttime visions of Edward had left me curious, and I needed to dig a little deeper. So, I started my internet search looking for any old newspaper clippings trying to come up with anything that looked familiar. It wasn't long before I heard the sound of raindrops on the roof. At least some things were back to normal. I headed down to the kitchen to grab a snack before continuing with my research. Just as I was reaching into the fridge to grab a Coke, I heard a knock on the front door. I don't know what I was expecting when I reached out to open it, but it certainly wasn't the beautiful blonde vampire that was standing on the porch.  
   
   
 "Hello, Bella. May I come in?" I had never even spoken to her before. I couldn't imagine what she could possibly have to say to me now. "I'm sure that I am the last person you expected to see on your doorstep," she spoke carefully. "I'm very sorry if I'm interrupting anything."  
   
 "No, you're not interrupting me. Please, come in and have a seat." I was nervous around her, not because I was scared of her, but because she was his sister. She had to have known everything that had been going on with us. "I'm assuming that you're here to talk about Edward?"  
   
 "I'm sorry, Bella. I usually try not to interfere in Edward's life- it makes things much easier between us. But, I feel that there are things you need to know about him, about what he's been through, before you make any kind of decision." She was watching me intently, for some sign that I might reject her attempt to plead her brother's case. She found none.  
   
 "It's alright, Rosalie. Say what you came to say."  
   
 "He's not crazy, Bella. I know it must seem unfathomable- the things he told you about your connection to him, but you shouldn't rush to judge him."  
   
 "I'm not judging him. I'm just- confused." How would I make her understand when I didn't understand myself? "I have all these feelings, and they get all jumbled up with my dreams, and I'm not sure what's real anymore."  
   
 "I know that you love him- anyone who's seen you look at him could tell you that much. And he loves you, too. Don't doubt that." She seemed so sure- I wish I had her faith. "I've known him for a long time- almost as long as Esme and Carlisle have. I met him just after you returned the first time. He was depressed, to say the least- none of us thought he would ever recover. It's really not my story to tell. Maybe someday you'll let him share it with you.  
   
It's happened more than once, you see. And each time we watched him dig his way back out of his pain. But it's different this time, Bella. You know, he's never called you Isabel- always Bella. In the past he always referred to you as Isabel. He may believe that you are his soul mate, but he knows who you are, separate from her."  
   
 "Rosalie-" I interjected, "how is this supposed to help me? I feel more mixed up than ever."  
   
 "I'm not sure, I just- Bella, he's practically catatonic. He's broken. He hasn't risen from the floor in his room since Wednesday night. The only person he'll even remotely respond to is Esme, and he won't even speak to her. I've never seen him like this."  
   
 "I'm not sure I'm ready to face him," I whispered. My resolve was crumbling, but I was still too cowardly to deal with the things he had told me.  
   
 "I know that. And I don't blame you. I just want you to know," she said, handing me a piece of paper with a phone number on it, "that when you are ready, you can call me anytime, day or night, and I will take you to him."  
   
 I sat staring at the slip of paper in my fingers, not knowing what to do or say. "Thank you," was all I could manage.  
   
 "Your welcome. I haven't always been very understanding where Edward is concerned, but he is my family, and I do believe that you will be as well, someday." She smiled softly at me before turning to walk out the door.  
   
 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
   
   
  _I was in the middle of the forest. Everything around me was covered in the lush, green moss I had grown accustomed to in Forks. There were five different versions of Edward standing before me, all with different types of hunger in their eyes. I recognized the green-eyed and red-eyed Edwards from my previous dreams, but the others were all new to me. The three new Edwards all had the same topaz eyes I had come to love, but they were all very different in their style of dress. One wore a sweater and slacks with his button-up; another wore the black and white "mod" look from the sixties; the third was dressed in tight blue jeans and an acid washed denim jacket. None of the five was_ my _Edward. Just as that thought occurred to me, he stepped out of the tree line just beyond the others. He walked slowly forward, with his hands up in front of him, as if I were a crazed animal he was approaching._  
   
 _"Bella, love," he said softly, "please don't be afraid. I promise I won't hurt you." His eyes were pleading; full of an emotion I couldn't quite place in my confused state.  
   
 "Edward, I don't understand any of this."_  
  
  _"I know, love. I wish there was a way to explain that would make it easier." We stood, staring at each other, the electricity flickering between us like lightning. "Bella, there is someone here who wishes to speak with you." I still felt a little disoriented, when suddenly, all of the Edwards disappeared from my sight, and a soft, glowing light floated out to greet me from between the tall trees.  
   
 As the light came closer, it also started to concentrate, from a soft glow to a very bright pinpoint of white light. And suddenly, there was a person in front of me. Someone I had not laid eyes on in a very long time. "Gran? Is that you?" She had been gone for six years, but my Grandma Marie Swan was now standing right in front of me.  
   
 "Yes, child. It's me. I have missed you so." I was struck dumb- she was here with me and there was so much I wanted to say, but the words would not come. "My dear, I can see how conflicted you are about your thoughts and feelings. Can you tell me what is troubling you?" She had always known me so well.  
   
 "Gran, there is so much. I love him so much. I've never felt like this before, and I'm not sure if I can trust in it. I'm not sure that it is me that he really wants." The words were tumbling from my lips without my control. I only hoped she would understand.  
   
 "Bella, child. The answers you seek are right in front of you. Only you can find them. I love you, my dear. Have faith- you will find the right path." And then, just like that, she was gone._  
  


\----------------------------------------------------------------

  
   
   
 I awoke with a start, sitting straight up in my bed. I could still hear her voice ringing in my ears- _The answers you seek are right in front of you. Only you can find them_. What had she meant? I looked at my clock- four in the morning. Ugh. I could hear Charlie fumbling around in the bathroom. Another early day at the office for him. I decided to go downstairs and start some coffee. He would want some before he left, and I really didn't think I would be going back to sleep anytime soon.  
   
 When Charlie came down, I was already sitting at the table with a fresh cup in my hands. The warmth felt nice, and I took a sip, as I motioned to Charlie that the coffee was ready for him. He poured a cup for himself, and sat across from me. "What are you doing up so early, Bells?"  
   
 "Couldn't sleep. I had the strangest dream. Gran was in it." I hadn't even thought about her in weeks. Not since Edward had appeared in my life. How ironic that he was the one who brought her to me in my dream.  
   
 "That's funny. I was just thinking about her myself. You know, I still have that box of stuff she left for you. It's in the hall closet on the top shelf." I had forgotten about that box. The first few months after she died, I had gone through it regularly.  
   
 "Thanks, dad. I think I'll get it out and have a look. I haven't been through it all in a while."  
   
 "Have a good day, sweetie," he said, excusing himself from the table. "I'm headed down to Billy's after work to watch the game, so I may not be home till after supper. Is that alright? You won't be too bored will you?"  
   
 "No, dad. Have fun- tell Billy and Jake I said hi." I finished my cup of coffee as he headed out the door. I poured myself another, and headed upstairs to retrieve Gran's gift to me.  
   
 Setting my coffee down on my bedside table, I went back out into the hall and got down Gran's box from the shelf where Charlie had left it for me. It had been about four years since the last time I had opened it, but everything inside still looked the same. Love letters that she and Gramps had written each other early in their relationship, pictures of family. She had left me all of her most treasured items- things that she knew would be as valuable to me as they had been to her. I read a few of the letters- it always touched my heart to see the love that my grandparents had had for each other- before sorting through a few of the pictures of my dad as a boy. In the very bottom of the box, was another, small wooden box that I had never taken the time to look through before. The top was engraved with the name Charlotte- my great-grandmother. I pulled out this new treasure and slowly ran my fingers across the top. I had the strangest sensation, as if some strange sort of gravity was pulling me in to this moment of time.  
   
 I opened the small wooden box carefully, and nearly stopped breathing. She had been correct. All the answers I needed were right at my fingertips- I only needed to know _where_ to look. I reached for the phone on my nightstand, and grabbed the slip of paper that Rosalie had handed me the previous afternoon. My hands were trembling as I tried to dial her number. "Rosalie?" I replied, when she answered the phone. "Can you come and get me? I need to see him, NOW."  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

_My dearest Isabel,  
   
     I fear my time on this earth may be short. The wretched illness that is ravaging the city has claimed my father. My mother and I are trapped here in the hospital, quarantined with the rest of the sick. She spends her energy caring for me, and my only concern is for you. I know they will not allow you to see me for fear you will fall ill as well. But there is something I must tell you, for fear I may never get the chance. So, my love, I write you this letter, in hopes that even if I never leave this place, you will know in your heart the depth of my love for you.  
   
     That day in the park-did you guess my plan? I meant it to be a surprise, but I never could catch you unaware. So, I must tell you- I love you, I love you, I love you, and my greatest wish is to spend my entire eternity with you by my side, as man and wife. I would like to believe, that if given the chance, you would have said yes. I pray every day for the miracle that my life may be spared, and we may be together again. Until that day, please know you are in my thoughts, foremost, and that my love for you is as endless as time itself. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever- I love you my darling.  
   
                                                                                               Yours forever-  
   
                                                                                               Edward_   
  
  
   
 **Chapter 10: Enough for Now  
 **   
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
     Fifteen minutes later, I crawled into the passenger seat of Rosalie's red Mercedes, clutching the small wooden box. My mind was racing, and I was too nervous to speak to her. She must have been aware of this fact, because she never said a word until we turned into the long, narrow, dirt lane leading to the Cullen estate. "Bella, you don't need to be afraid. He will listen to whatever you have to say without judgment. Whatever you have decided about your relationship, it's good that you are ready to face that decision head on."  
   
     "I know you're right. Thank you, again, for all of this," I said softly, "I know you care for him. It must be hard to see him hurting."  
   
     "It is, but the not knowing is the hardest. He needs to know what is happening, so that he can move on to whatever is next." She smiled reassuringly.  
  
     I followed her tentatively into the house, my eyes searching my surroundings for any sign of him. As we entered the front room, we were greeted by Edward's entire family. They were all gathered around, talking amongst themselves, clearly waiting for us to arrive.  
   
     "Welcome, Bella. It's very nice to see you again," said Carlisle. "I'm only sorry it is under such unpleasant circumstances."  
   
     "I'm hoping to rectify that. Where is Edward?" I asked. "I need to speak with him, and it can't wait any longer."  
   
     Alice stepped forward, smiling brightly at me. "I can show you!" She was positively beaming, dancing her way up the stairs.  
   
     "Alice," I started, "have you seen how this will turn out?"   
   
     "Of course, Bella! But I'm not saying a word. You and Edward still need to work it out on your own." With that, she led me down the third floor hallway, to Edward's door. "He's still unresponsive, Bella. But don't worry. He WILL respond to you. Good luck! I will see you later!" she said merrily, bounding down the stairs away from me.  
  
     Well, here goes nothing- I thought to myself as I slowly turned the knob on Edward's door. Rosalie was right. The scene before me was heartbreaking. Edward was curled in a ball on the floor near the couch. I quickly took in my surroundings, noting that the couch and a small chair were the only real furnishings in the room. No bed, no desk- nothing that said this might be someone's bedroom. I made a mental note to ask him about that later.  
   
     As I slowly made my way over to where Edward lay, I noticed that his eyes were open, but vacantly staring off into nothingness. Was this what my hasty dismissal of him the other day had accomplished? There was a slow, dull ache building in my chest, and I could feel the moisture beginning to pool in the corners of my eyes. I curled my legs underneath me, sitting beside him, and carefully brushed my fingers through is unruly bronze hair. "Edward. Please look at me?" I begged him. "I don't want you to hurt like this. I need to talk to you, please?"  
   
     He was whimpering softly- it almost sounded as if he had been crying. Slowly, his head turned to face me. "You're not really here," he said. "You are just one more figment of my imagination. Why can't you just let me suffer in silence?" Now my heart was really breaking, not just for him, but for myself as well. How long had this cycle been repeating for him?  
   
    "No, Edward! I really am here," I replied, taking his hand in my own. "Please, you have to believe me! I'm here, and I need to talk to you!"  
   
     He sat up, then, and looked at me curiously, his eyes narrowing into slits. "Bella? Is it really you?"  
   
     "Yes," I smiled, "and I need you to listen to what I am telling you, okay?"  
   
     Taking my face in his cool hands, he replied, "All right."  
   
     "Edward, I think I believe you- about all of it. But I need you to tell me everything. From the very beginning. Can you do that for me?" I needed to hear his story before I could reveal myself to him.  
   
     "Are you sure? Some of it is not pleasant." The pain in his eyes burned into my own soul.  
   
     "I am. But don't start with Isabel. We can talk about her later. I want to know about what happened after- and please, don't hold back. I need to hear it all."  
   
     His golden eyes took in my face, trying to discern if I really meant what I had said. "If you're sure, then, okay. It all started a few years after Isabel died...."  
   
   
                                          --------------------------------------------------------------  
   
   
   
   
 **EPOV**  
   
   
     For many years after I was changed, I followed Carlisle's lifestyle choices simply because he wanted me to. It was several years before I began to question why we went against our nature. The fact that I could hear the thoughts of those around me made it all the more difficult. I could hear their lustful and murderous desires, and I wanted to punish them- I _needed_ it. Eventually, I gave in to my own desires, and rebelled against Carlisle. Esme had been with us for a few years by that point, so at least I knew he wouldn't be alone. I was only ten years into my eternity when I walked away from the only family I had left, and began a new life as a monster- a hunter of evil men.  
   
     It was on this particular journey that I saw her for the first time. I was tracking a particularly wicked man, who himself had been watching a very young girl, hoping to make her his next victim. The things that he imagined doing to her were horrible- enough to make even myself sick. I started out vowing to end him before he could hurt her and ended up with my entire world in a tailspin. The night that he finally met his maker was when I looked into her eyes for the first time. I saw her from hundreds of feet away, but there was no mistaking the soul I saw when our eyes met. It was my Isabel, come back to me, in the form of a ten-year-old girl. I knew I would do my best to protect her, no matter the cost.  
   
     Even after I had disposed of her erstwhile stalker, I continued to follow her. Always from a distance. I knew if I were to get too close I would frighten her. However, I could still hear her thoughts. She knew I followed her. She felt safe- protected. Then, one day I was following her much more closely than usual. A storm was coming up, and she was rushing to get home. Everything happened so quickly- it was only afterwards that I realized what I had done. The wind shifted, and her scent caught me. I had been feeding solely from humans for two years, or I might have been able to resist the sweetest scent I had ever beheld. To this day, Carlisle insists it is nearly impossible to resist the call of a singer. That's what he called her when I finally returned home- my singer. I had been thinking of returning to my family for months, but after her death at my hands, I knew I had to come home. I thought, in some strange way, that it would right my wrong, somehow, to go back to my old way of surviving. I embraced this lifestyle with everything I had left, hoping to someday erase the ache from my dead heart.  
   
     The second time was in 1949- you were not my singer that time. But you did figure out what I was, and that knowledge succeeded in driving you mad. You were institutionalized and died a few months later.  
   
     It has happened a total of five times, Bella. Only one other time were you my singer. Emmett was with me on that occasion, thank God, when I caught your scent. Otherwise, I might not have been able to keep myself from draining you on the spot. I've watched you die five times, and it never gets any easier. I risked exposing myself and my family the other day because I couldn't bear to lose you again- not like that. If I lose you this time, it will be because you know the whole truth, and decide to walk away. I wouldn't blame you if you did. I tried to stay away to keep you safe, but I am, at my very core, a selfish creature. I love you, and I wanted you, so I gave in to my desire, and claimed you for myself.  
   
     I have no right to ask you to forgive all of my past mistakes. I have no right to ask you to love me despite what I am. But I am asking, just the same. Could you find it in your heart to forgive me? Could you love me, regardless of what I am and all that I have done?  
   
   
   
 **BPOV**  
   
   
     I was utterly transfixed by the depth of the pain and sincerity in his eyes. Suddenly, the question was not whether he really loved me, but whether or not he could forgive himself for his past indiscretions. Before I could put my thoughts to words, Edward was speaking. "Bella, what changed your mind? Why did you come here today?" He held my hands firmly in his own, pleading with his eyes for me to throw him a lifeline.  
   
     "Two reasons, really." I wasn't sure how to express what had happened. "The first- the mermaid fountain? Do you remember the dream I told you about all those weeks ago? That fountain was torn down in the 30's, and replaced with something more modern. I've never been to Chicago, and the only explanation I could come up with for dreaming about something I had never seen, was that I was actually _remembering_ it."  
   
     "How did you discover this information?" He asked curiously.  
   
     "I did a little online research yesterday. I was hoping to find answers to some of my questions."  
   
     "I see," he replied. "And the second reason?"  
   
     This was my moment of truth. I reached for the small box I had carried from my house, and opened it slowly. Reaching inside, I answered, "This box belonged to my Great-Grandmother, Charlotte. I was going through it early this morning, soul-searching, I guess, and came across these." I handed him, first, the well-worn black and white photo, and then the folded slip of parchment, yellowed and dog-eared with age.  
   
     His breath hitched in his throat as he softly ran a finger over the picture of himself and a girl who looked very much like me. "Isabel...," he whispered.  
  
     I tried to focus as I continued my speech. "Charlotte was raised here in Forks. Her mother's parents were forced to move from Seattle when her grandfather lost his job. They relocated to Chicago, taking Charlotte's beloved aunt, Isabel, with them. She was sixteen when she left this place. She died the following year from the Spanish Influenza- but you already know that part." He was watching me, with a look of bewilderment in his topaz eyes.   
   
     "Bella-" he said, choking back a sob.  
   
     "I was named for her. I can't believe I never put two and two together before now. You weren't wrong, when you said I am her- I guess in a way, I am. But, I have another theory, Edward, if you would like to hear it?" I reached out slowly, and took his hand in mine again, gently stroking his palm with the tips of my fingers.  
   
    "Tell me, Bella." His eyes were burning with need.  
   
    "My theory- all the things that have happened before this? They happened for a reason, Edward. I know that sounds cliché, but it's true. It was never the right time for us before- that's why all these things kept happening. You couldn't die, so I kept dying, and coming back to you again, and again. Coming back to you so we could finally get it right." I felt the truth of my words wash over me in that instance. The past had led us to this moment, when he could be who he really wanted to be, and I could love him the way he deserved to be loved. "I love you, Edward. I don't want to waste another minute second-guessing anything. I want you in my life, I _need_ you!"  
   
     He reached his hand up and brushed his fingers across my cheek, wiping away a tear that had escaped my eye. A smile started to spread across his glorious face. "And I you, my love. Always, I need you, and I love you." His hand rested on the back of my neck as he pulled me to him and brushed my lips, softly, with his own.  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Even if you did not love me I could not help an entire devotion to you: how much more deeply then must I feel for you knowing you love me. My Mind has been the most discontented and restless one that ever was put into a body too small for it. I never felt my Mind repose upon anything with complete and undistracted enjoyment- upon no person but you. When you are in the room my thoughts never fly out of window; you always concentrate my whole senses._ \- John Keats  
   
   
 **Chapter 11: True Love Never Dies**  
   
   
 **EPOV**  
   
     We sat on the floor- Bella in my lap with her arms wrapped tightly around my waist- for a long while. Three hours, twenty-two minutes, and 19 seconds, to be exact. I gently traced my fingers up and down Bella's spine, singing softly to her. Occasionally she would brush tender kisses along my jaw and neck, and I would run my fingers through her luscious dark hair, and trail kisses down her cheek. Eventually, we were reminded that time would not stand still for us.  
   
     "Breakfast time for the human?" I asked, as Bella's rumbling stomach gave her away.  
   
     "I suppose, although I would really prefer to stay right here all day," she replied, with a loving smile on her lips. "Do you want to take me home? I can eat and get cleaned up, and then we can spend some time together."  
   
     "I don't think we are going anywhere, just yet," I replied, just as a soft knock sounded at the door. "Come in, Alice."  
   
     "Sorry to interrupt, but Esme and Emmett are going crazy down in the kitchen, and Bella's breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes." She was smiling so wide I thought her face might just break in two.   
   
     "We'll be down shortly." I turned to Bella, who was watching Alice bounce back out of my door. Gently stroking my finger across her cheek, I asked, "Are you all right, love? You look worried."  
   
     "Esme and Emmett are cooking? Human food? For _me?"_ She looked absolutely horrified at the prospect.  
   
     "Well, when it looked as though you might become a fixture in my life, my family took it upon themselves to learn how to cook, just in case an occasion such as this ever came up. Of course, nobody has ever tasted any of their creations, so you will have to be the judge whether they are any good at it or not."  
   
     "I. Am. Amazed. Edward, that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard. I am really touched that they want to make me feel welcome." She really did seem happy at my revelation.  
   
     "I hope you still feel that way after you've eaten," I chuckled under my breath.  
  
   
     Thirty minutes, three pancakes, two sausages, and one Belgian waffle later, Bella's hunger was fully sated, and Emmett was thoroughly pleased with himself. "I told you we could cook, brother! How about lunch, Bella? Esme and I could whip up some Italiano for you!"  
   
     "Emmett, I don't think I will be able to eat for a week after that breakfast! How on Earth did you guys learn to cook like that?" she asked curiously.  
   
     "Food Network!" Emmett replied. "Tyler Florence is a genius!"  
   
     "Well, thank you both, again. It really was wonderful!"  
   
     "It was our pleasure, Bella" said Esme. "We are all just so happy that you and Edward have worked things out. It's nice to finally see him smiling again."  
   
     It really felt good to smile again. I honestly felt happy. But, there were still things that Bella and I needed to discuss, and I did not want to wait any longer. "If you all don't mind, I would really like to get Bella home. I have plans for us today, and we are on a schedule."   
   
      Bella said her goodbyes to my family as I took her hand and guided her out to my Volvo. We made our way back to her house in comfortable silence. She held my hand in hers, using her free hand to draw lazy circles on my palm. "What are you thinking about?" I finally asked.  
   
     "I was just wondering why it is that you can't read my mind?"   
   
     "Well," I started, thinking carefully to see if I could come up with a viable reason, "we really don't know. It's never happened before. At first I thought that you might be immune to all of our talents, but Alice can see your future, and I'm quite sure that Jasper can sense your emotions, so it seems like more of a mental block, than anything else."  
   
    "Edward Cullen- did you just call me mental?" she chuckled as she stepped out of the car and walked toward her house.  
   
    "Bella, I really didn't mean-"  
   
    "Edward, stop. I was just teasing you!" she said with a smile. Then she added softly, "I like that you can't hear me."  
   
    "So do I," I replied. "You have no idea how peaceful it is to just be in the same room with you."  
   
    She unlocked the door, and I followed her into the kitchen. This was the first time I had been in her home as an invited guest.   
   
     "So, where are you taking me today, exactly?" she questioned playfully. "I'd like to know if I need to dress up or anything."  
   
     "Well, it is someplace special that I would like to share with you. No need to dress up. But you may want to bring a sweater or something."   
   
     "Sounds good. Make yourself comfortable," she said as she gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. "I'll be down as quick as I can."  
  
     She was true to her word. Within thirty minutes we were on our way.  
   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
   
     I pulled off the road to park my car at the trailhead, and Bella spoke, nervously, "You didn't say we were hiking."  
   
     _"We_ are not hiking. I will be running. _You_ will be riding!" The look on her face was priceless. In all the time we had spent together, this was the first time I had seen her look frightened. "Don't worry, love. I won't let anything happen to you."  
   
     "I trust you." she declared as she took my hand and climbed up onto my back.  
   
     "Close your eyes- and hold on tight!" I loved running- it was exhilarating. And with Bella wrapped around me tightly, it was pure heaven.

 

     As we made our way through the trees, I couldn't help but think of the long road it had been to get to this point with Bella. We still had so much more to work through. I knew we needed this time alone to talk about our future, whatever it held.

 

     Ten minutes later, I slowed to a walk, and gently placed Bella back on her own feet. "You can open your eyes now, love."

 

     "Oh, Edward!" she exclaimed. "It's beautiful!" She made her way slowly to the center of the meadow. She reached down and plucked a flower from the ground and brought it to her nose. She then threw back her head and smiled, arms out away from her body, and began to spin around in a circle. "However did you find this place?" she asked, finally coming to a standstill.

 

     "I discovered it years ago- the last time we lived here actually. I was just out running one day and came across it. I come here quite a bit- especially when I need to think."

     "And what are we thinking about today?" She was smiling that beautiful smile of hers. Slowly walking toward me, she reached out and brushed her fingers down my arm.

 

     "There are still things you need to know, Bella. I don't want to ruin this feeling we have right now- I can not imagine being happier than I am in this moment. But we have a lot to talk about. I don't think we can put it off." I laced my fingers through hers, and brought her delicate hand to my lips. She sighed as I breathed a kiss across her knuckles.

 

     "I know you're right. But before you start, I want to tell you something. I don't want to worry about the past. Not today. We can talk about anything else, but I want to focus only on Edward and _Bella._ " I was definitely okay with that idea.

 

 

We lay in the meadow on my jacket for a long time, staring up at the cloudy sky. Occasionally she would ask me a question about my family and our lifestyle, and then she would be silent again for a while. Finally I mustered up enough courage to broach the subject I knew needed to be addressed. “Bella, love, where do you see yourself five years from now?”

“What kind of question is that, Edward? With you, of course! Maybe living in a little cottage in the woods somewhere.” She looked at me suddenly and said, “Do you not see us together in your future?”

“Of course I do. My kind does not change easily. Once a change is made, it is unbreakable. My love for you will never change- you are my life now, Bella. I only wondered if you wanted more for yourself than shacking up with a vampire.” If my heart could beat, it would have been pounding out of my chest in anticipation of her answer.

“Shacking up with a vampire? That’s an interesting way of putting it. Hmmm,” she almost purred, clearly thinking of what it was exactly she wanted to say. “I can’t imagine ever wanting anything more than I want to be with you.”

“And how do you see us together?” I was being cautious. I wasn’t sure what I wanted her answer to be.

“As equals, Edward.” She stated matter-of-factly. “You were wondering whether or not I wanted to be like you? That’s the problem, right? I want to be with you forever. It has taken us, what, five of my lifetimes to get here? I never want to leave you behind again.” She sat up and reached for my hand. I knew she wanted to pull me to face her, so I gave her my hand and sat up, never taking my eyes from hers. “I love you, Edward. Now and forever.” She leaned forward slowly and kissed me softly. “Forever,” she breathed against my lips.

“Are you sure? Bella, you have no idea what my life has been like since the change. I’m not sure if I want to subject you to this lifestyle or not.” It hurt me to say it. I never wanted to be apart from her again, but I knew all too well how much guilt Bella would feel if she couldn’t adhere to our “vegetarian” diet.

“Edward,” she said, looking deeply into my eyes, “I want you forever. I’m not asking you to do it today. I’d kind of like to finish high school, maybe a year of college- just to make Charlie happy. But at some point, yes, I want to be like you. If I could have my way, I’d like for you to change me yourself.” When she said it, I knew that I wanted it too. To forever mark Bella as mine; my venom running through her veins for all of eternity.

“I feel as though I’m being extremely selfish, but I want the same thing, Bella. I don’t think I _could_ let anyone else do it- it wouldn’t feel right. And I do want you by my side forever. I do have a condition, though.”

“Really? And what is your condition?” she asked with a smirk on her face.

“Before I make you mine forever, I want it to be legal.” The confusion on her face suddenly gave way to a brilliant smile. “I want for us to be married, before our family and friends, before you give up your human life.”

“Edward Cullen- that is no way to propose to a lady!” She wore a brilliant smile now on her glorious face.

“You’re right,” I smiled, pushing myself up and rolling to hover over her prone figure. “Isabella Swan, I want to spend the rest of-“

“Edward, stop-“she blurted out. “Not yet. We still have another year of high school. Lord, Charlie would have a coronary if I got engaged now. I want to spend my eternity with you. Remember that, and ask me again, _later_!” Her smile grew softer as she read the pained look on my face. “Please Edward? Ask me again later. We have forever.”

I started to relax a little under her soft touch. “Of course, love. I know you are right. And I will ask again, I promise. And what about the rest of our forever?”

“Trust me, Edward. I will tell you when I’m ready.”  
      
   
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. Not copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> This was the very first fic I ever attempted, and my only attempt at canon/het. It was originally published at Twilighters Anonymous, FFnet, and Twilighted.

_Even in bed my ideas yearn towards you, my Immortal Beloved, here and there joyfully, then again sadly, awaiting from Fate, whether it will listen to us. I can only live, either altogether with you or not at all. Yes, I have determined to wander about for so long far away, until I can fly into your arms and call myself quite at home with you, can send my soul enveloped by yours into the realm of spirits- yes, I regret, it must be. You will get over it all the more as you know my faithfulness to you; never another one can own my heart, never- never! O God, why must one go away from what one loves so, and yet my life in W. as it is now is a miserable life. Your love made me the happiest and unhappiest at the same time. At my actual age I should need some continuity, sameness of life- can that exist under our circumstances? ………..Be calm- love me- today- yesterday._

_What longing in tears for you- You- my Life- my All- farewell. Oh, go on loving me- never doubt the faithfullest heart_

_Of your beloved_

_L_

_Ever thine._

_Ever mine._

_Ever ours._

_-Ludwig van Beethoven_

 

 

**BPOV**

I closed the book in my hands carefully, lovingly tracing my fingers over the words on the cover. It had been a gift from Edward- given to me the day we were married to celebrate all the chapters of our own love story. Every year on this date, I removed it from the shelf and perused the love letters written by the great men of their time, as well as the letter written by my own love that started it all.

 

Today was a special day for us; an anniversary of sorts. Our actual wedding anniversary was still weeks away, but today we were celebrating something even more momentous, and I wanted everything to be perfect. Alice had helped me make all the arrangements, and she and I were both very pleased with the way everything had turned out. Now all that was left to do was wait for Edward. He had gone on an extended hunting trip with Emmett and Jasper, but I was expecting him home later this evening.

 

As I finished my preparations for our little celebration, I began to reminisce about that spring so long ago when Edward and I found our way back to each other.  That first year was filled with so much love and wonder. We muddled through our last year of high school. Edward made sure I didn’t miss a thing- football games, prom, graduation- we did it all. When we got our acceptance letters for fall semester at Dartmouth, my father couldn’t have been more proud. I knew it was the one last human experience that Edward would cross off the “bucket list” he had created for me in his head. I knew then that the time had come to revisit our earlier conversation.

_“Ask me again Edward.”_

_“I’m sorry, love? What was that?” He looked back at me after watching Alice bounce away toward Jasper’s waiting arms._

_“I said, ask me again.” He reached out and took my hand in his own and began to walk towards the trees behind the Cullen garage._

_“Are you sure, Bella?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Hop on,” he chuckled, lifting me up on to his back before taking off into the trees. Before I knew it, he slowed to a walk and set me on my feet, leading me by the hand to our meadow._

_“What are you waiting for, Edward? Ask me again.”_

_“Bella, I want to do this the right way. Give me a minute to prepare?” He smiled my favorite crooked smile and I felt a shiver run up my spine. He walked back to the edge of the clearing and pulled a backpack from inside a hollowed out tree stump. He must have brought it out here on one of his hunting trips without my knowledge. I continued to watch as he pulled a blanket from the bag and spread it on the ground at my feet, motioning for me to come and sit with him._

_I sat on the blanket beside him, as he lifted a hand and traced his fingers along the edge of my jaw. “My beautiful Isabella,” he said softly. “You never cease to amaze me. When you discovered what I really was, you did not run from me. And when you learned of our past, you found the strength to help me forgive myself. Your love for me is the miracle I have waited my whole  existence  for. I love you more than my own life.”_

_He leaned into me and placed a soft kiss on the tip of my nose, and then on my lips. I sighed as he brushed his nose along the length of my collarbone, and he chuckled in response. “Bella, my love. I can’t imagine a world without you in it. I want more than anything to spend the rest of my eternity with you. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”_

I was brought back to the present by the sound of the door clicking shut behind me. I turned around to see my heartbreakingly beautiful husband standing in the doorway, smiling the crooked smile that he saved just for me. “Welcome home”, I said with a smile in return.

In three steps he was at my side, wrapping his loving arms around me. “I missed you, my love,” he breathed in reply. “What were you thinking about just now? You looked as if you were a million miles away.”

“I was just remembering the day you proposed.”

“Really? Which time?” He chuckled as I swatted him jokingly on his arm.

“You know which time I mean. I’ve actually been doing a lot of reminiscing today.”

“It is a good day for such things.” He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply, as if to memorize my scent all over again. “Is there something special you were thinking of?”

“Actually, yes. I have a surprise for you. We’re going to the main house tonight- everyone else is heading to Alaska for a few days.” It was very hard to surprise Edward, which was why Alice had helped with the planning. She was really good at hiding her thoughts from him. The others only knew that I wanted some time at the main house with Edward this weekend, and they had all agreed to go visit our Denali cousins for a short while.

“Would this have anything to do with why Alice has been resurrecting Britney Spears lately?” he asked with a smirk on his lips.

“Maybe,” I replied cryptically.

Just then, my cell phone chirped. “Hello Alice. Yes, I think everything is ready. Have a good time.” I smiled at Edward as his brow furrowed in frustration. “Tell everyone thanks for me, again. I really appreciate this. See you in a few days!”

“Are you going to let me in on the secret now?” he asked playfully, raising an eyebrow.

“Patience, my love. We have plenty of time.”

 

**EPOV**

 

My Bella was playing games with me. It was always like this when she wanted to celebrate a special occasion. Perhaps she felt it was the only way she could keep me on my toes. Our current celebration found me blindfolded, being led into the foyer of the main house by Bella, who was giggling uncontrollably the entire time.

“Bella, love, can I take this ridiculous blindfold off now?” I merely wanted to just hold my beloved, and stare into her eyes until the sun came up. However, I knew what this day meant to her- _to us_ \- and I would let her have her fun.

“Don’t be a spoil sport, Edward. You know how much fun it is for me to try and surprise you!”  She hadn’t changed a bit in the fifty-two years I had known her.

“Sorry, love. I’ll play nicely.”

“Well, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of being a little naughty later on!” she chuckled softly. “Are you ready for your surprise now?”

Silly girl. “I was born ready my dear.” She very carefully untied my blindfold and stepped back away from me. The sight I was met with was indescribable. The large family room on the first floor of the main house had been completely transformed. She and Alice had very carefully reconstructed the night that Bella and I had initiated her change from human to vampire. I stood there, dumbfounded, as I recalled that night so many years ago.

_“Bella, are you sure you want to do this now? There is no rush.” I knew my attempts at stalling her were futile._

_“Edward, don’t be silly. We have been married for months. I just finished my first year of college. I’m **ready** , love. Please? I want to spend forever with you, and I want my forever to start as soon as possible.” How could I be so lucky to finally be with the love of my existence? “Please Edward; I want it to be tonight.”_

_“You know I can’t refuse you anything. I love you more than my own life, my Bella.”_

_And so I made love to my beautiful wife, one more time in her human form. Then, as we both rejoiced in the bliss of our love, I took from my Isabella the last gift her beating heart could give._

“Bella, how did you manage this?” I asked, still recovering from the memory of that night fifty years ago.

“I had a little help. Alice is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to planning special events, if you recall.”

“Fifty years. It seems like only yesterday I was listening to your heart beat and stealing the warmth from your arms wrapped around me.”  She smiled at me, and reached out to wrap her now immortal arms around my waist.

“I didn’t think I could ever love you more than I did then, but I do. More and more every day.” She stood on tiptoes to place a sweet kiss on my lips.

“More than my own life…” I breathed. Her unnecessary breath hitched in her throat.

“Bella,” I whispered as I pulled her into a tight embrace. “How would you feel about recreating a few other events from that evening?”

“Why Edward! It seems you can finally read my mind!”

 

**THE END**


	13. La Tua Cantante

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an outtake I wrote which offers a little bit of Edward's back story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a work of fanfiction. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Made it fourteen city blocks without breathing_

_Light breaks from the left and hits between the buildings_

_Stoplights change their name from green to red, to green again_

_Love has its critics but they never keep many friends_

_It’s alright; this could be a rough night_

_So hold tight, this is not a fair fight._

“Fair Fight” – The Fray

 

**La Tua Cantante**

September 13, 1929

_Don’t think._

_Don’t breathe._

_Just run._

Heading west, I ran as fast as I could go, trying to leave the scene of the crime behind me. _Don’t think. Don’t breathe. Keep running._

Before I knew it, my body, of its own will, was slowing down, coming to a halt. Quickly taking in my surroundings, I realized I was somewhere in the Adirondack Mountains. _Dammit, Edward! Keep running!_ But it was too late. The images were already flooding my mind. Her tiny body, broken and cradled in my arms; blood trickling from the wound at her neck.

_Oh God. What have I done?_

_2 months earlier……._

The guilt was beginning to eat away at me. My last conversation with Carlisle played repeatedly in my mind. _Who was I to play god?_ It was a question I had asked myself many times over the last 3 years since I had left my “adopted” family behind. I knew that Carlisle would not agree with the choices I had made, but if I really wanted to go back to my old life- to _his_ way of life- he would take me back. No questions asked.

I had spent the last three years of my existence chasing criminals- murderers, rapists, pedophiles, etc. - and turning them into the victims. My victims. Human blood was so much sweeter than animal blood, and even though it fully sated my thirst, I still felt unsatisfied somehow. I knew it was the guilt eating at my conscience, but I kept trying to deny the fact. How could I feel guilty for ridding the world of these depraved creatures? The world was surely a better place in their absence. But deep down, I still could not justify what I was doing. I knew it was only a matter of time before I sought out Carlisle and Esme again.

Boston had proved to be the perfect city for my particular brand of justice. Currently, I was stalking an especially  wretched pedophile. His every thought revolved around the young girl he had been watching for the past few days. The wicked things he planned to do to her made even _my_ stomach turn.  She was so young- not more than nine or ten years old. That was how he liked his prey. I knew I would have to end him before he could hurt her. It was _his_ last night on this earth when it happened- the one thing that could change my entire existence.

I had seen her before, of course, through his thoughts, but I had never really _looked_ at her. I knew she couldn’t see me in the shadows as I drained the last of his blood from his lifeless body, but it did not stop my eyes from meeting hers all the same. I knew in an instant it was her. _Isabel._  The love of my life- my _human_ life, that is. Of course it wasn’t _really_ her. Not in the flesh, anyway. I had heard people talk of soul mates, but had never taken the term literally. Now, however, I could not dispute that it was true. My soul mate, my other half, was before me once more. Obviously, I could not have her the way I had wanted Isabel- that would make me no better than the man I had just killed. But I vowed to myself that I would do whatever it took to protect her- to keep her safe.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I followed her religiously. I knew her daily routines and never let her out of my sight. In the mornings, the nanny took her and her little sister to the library, where they would spend two or three hours reading quietly. They would then return home for  lunch, and afterwards would head to the park. Most days the rituals did not change. Some days she was allowed to venture to the park on her own.  These were the days I most enjoyed because she would send subtle hints that she knew I was there. Of course, I could hear her thoughts, so I knew exactly what she was doing. She knew that I watched over her, but it made her feel safe; she never felt threatened by my presence. She wondered why I kept my distance. I was beginning to wonder, myself.

Two months had passed, and not much had changed in our routine. I continued to “protect” her, and she always knew I was in her periphery. My world, of course, was about to come crashing down, unbeknownst to me. She had been to the park alone that day, and was slowly making her way home. She always seemed happier on those days she had to herself, and in turn, I was more comfortable than usual. I had chosen to follow her more closely than normal, and was surprised to hear in her thoughts that she had noticed. The sky was growing darker with the impending storm, and she was nervous about getting home before it hit, but having me close by made her feel more secure.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind hit me from behind. I heard her gasp as she turned to look behind her. She began to move faster as she turned off the main street onto the wooded path that would lead her home, her anxiety growing as the seconds passed. Then, as another gust of wind blew from the opposite direction, her scent hit me. Hard.

It was like no other smell I had ever encountered, and it called to me unlike anything I had ever come across. Suddenly, I was the hunter and she was my prey. Before I could even process what was happening, I had closed the distance between us and held her arms tightly in my hands. She started to scream as I spun her around, but I stifled the sound by clenching my hand over her mouth. I briefly contemplated the frightened look in her eyes, but was too overcome with my raging bloodlust to give it too much thought.

I could hear the blood pulsing through her veins, and the sound was intoxicating. It hypnotized every other sense I possessed until all I could focus on was the faint blue line along the skin of her delicate neck. I gently rubbed my thumb along the swollen artery, carefully drawing her life’s essence closer to the surface of her skin. As I took in her scent once more, I leaned in and ran my tongue along the vein, prepping it for me, and sunk my teeth into my target.

Sweet.

Hot.

Heaven.

As her warm blood flowed over my lips, I drank in deeply, feeling every beat of her heart as if it were my own. _Thump. Thump. Thump._ I could feel the rhythm begin to slow as her life slowly faded away, and I began to come to my senses.

_What have I done?_

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

After my initial stop, I ran on, not sure of where I was headed until I had already arrived. Carlisle and Esme had been living in Rochester for three years now, and I was able to find them with ease. As I approached their home, I was bombarded with their thoughts. They recognized my scent immediately and they both seemed eager to see me again and have me home with them.  As my mother opened the door to me, she gasped. “Oh, Edward! What happened to you?”

“Please,” was all I could manage as I choked back my tearless sob. “Please help me!”

They took me in, of course, no questions asked. I told them only, at first, that I was ready to go back to their chosen lifestyle, but I feared I would need much help and support. They both agreed and tried to assist me how ever they could. Eventually, I began to share the details of what had happened, as well as my feelings about my chosen life in the weeks leading up to my transgression.

“La Tua Cantante,” Carlisle whispered. Speaking as if to himself, he said, “I always thought it was a myth; that it couldn’t possibly exist.”

“What are you talking about?” I queried.

“She must have been your _singer._ The blood of the singer is said to call so strongly that one cannot possibly resist it.”

“It’s no excuse for what I’ve done.” I was not sure if I would ever forgive myself, and I may never be able to redeem myself to the memory of my lost love, or the young girl who carried her soul. Perhaps someday, I would get a chance to try and make amends for ending her life.


End file.
